Showing posts with label tribulation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tribulation. Show all posts

Friday, December 20, 2013

Signs Jesus is Coming Soon

And HOW Long Have the Religiously Afflicted Been Claiming This?


 Loads and loads of people over roughly the last couple of thousand years have tried to predict when the supposed second arrival of Jesus Christ will take place. Do you ever wonder what the Bible has to say about this? Let's check it out, shall we?

 Matthew 24:36, "But no one knows of that day and hour, not even the angels of heaven, but my Father only."
Sooo...when it comes to the above verse what I would like to know is how in the freaky-doo can GOD know when Jesus will return but Jesus Himself will NOT know. How does this work? Isn't Jesus supposed to be God? Wouldn't Jesus be all-knowing? If Jesus is all-knowing then...uhmmm...wouldn't He know the details of His scheduled return to planet earth? Some translations of this verse even say that the Son does not know. Lovely. Why not confuse the fuck out of your followers, right? Give 'em something juicy to argue over for centuries. Wonderful. Anyways, the point made here with this verse is that no one is supposed to know. Considering that...why the fuck believers continue to make predictions as to when Jesus will come back is curious. Even when people say, "We don't know when, but soon," that is STILL making a prediction. 


Matthew 23:34,"Most certainly I tell you, this generation will not pass away, until all these things are accomplished."

Here we have an apparent blunder by the Son of God Himself, and why more Christians don't pay closer attention is interesting. Those who DO pay attention have all sorts of ways to explain away this divine SNAFU, right? In verse 36 of this same chapter Jesus says only GOD knows when the return will be and that even the Son (that would be Jesus) does not know. Hummm. But...here in this verse Jesus clearly makes a prediction as to when the return will be. He says the present generation will not pass away until all of these things have happened. For many Christians, when this obvious Jesus-flub is pointed out they claim that Jesus was referring to the present generation of Man that fell from the Garden of Eden. Of course, ask them about any other generation of Man that fell from the Garden of Eden and they look at you like you are crazy. Seriously. Ask them. Why would the term "present generation" be used unless there is some kind of reference to a past and a future generation? That was explained to me as the past generation was Man before he fell and the future generation is the one that will live eternally with God in heaven. Thus, when Jesus referred to the present generation He really meant all of mankind that is fallen which then means Jesus could come back whenever He freaking wants to and still be correct. Clever. Well, looks like they got all of that horseshit covered.


Matthew 16:28, "Most certainly I tell you, there are some standing here who will in no way taste of death, until they see the Son of Man coming in his Kingdom."

Now here is yet another interesting verse, right? Jesus says that there were some there in His presence who would not die until they saw the Son of Man coming in His Kingdom. Sure. Jesus isn't back and all of those mofos who were standing around are all dead...LONG dead, right? This was explained to me a couple of ways one being that Jesus was referring to no taste of death since they lived eternally in the Holy Spirit or some crazy hodgepodge of religious dogma, and the other that Jesus was referring to His transformation and ascension into the big blue sky to be with Big Poppa. Whatever. What explanations have you heard?


Sooo...what about those people who wish to insist that Jesus said there would be signs of His return? Well, let's take a peek into the Bible for info on that as well, hummm? 

Mark 13:22, "For there will arise false christs and false prophets, and will show signs and wonders, that they may lead astray, if possible, even the chosen ones."

In the above verse people are warned about false messiahs and prophets makings signs that are not real signs, right? Sooo...all of these crazies who swear by whomever they swear that they have received or seen a real sign really should consider this, right? What is hilariously funny is each of these truly believe they are the one with the real signs while everyone else is false. Good stuff! By the way...if the chosen ones can be led astray how in the fuckey-doo are they the chosen ones?


Acts 2:19, "I will show wonders in the sky above, and signs on the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and billows of smoke."

In this verse is where the real lunatics of religion find their foothold to claim that just about any natural disaster is a freaking sign from God that Jesus is just around the corner. Sounds like God is trying to rip off on nature by counting on people not realizing it is nature they are viewing and not the fairy tale power of the Bible's God.


Luke 21:25, "There will be signs in the sun, moon, and stars; and on the earth anxiety of nations, in perplexity for the roaring of the sea and the waves; "

Oh, look. Here God is ripping nature off again when it comes to power and awe and things that appear to the unlearned to be miracles but are really normal. Oh, and the reference to the anxiety of nations is equally stupid, right? When hasn't there been some nation or nations on earth squabbling, hummm? There is always someone fighting someone else over something. Even if all of the nations of the earth decided to quit fighting you could probably accurately bet that the countries of the Middle East would opt to continue fighting. Sooo...this anxiety of the nations thing is retarded and absolutely no big revelation of any type.


Why do believers look for signs of anything anyways, hummm? If they are so protected by their God and so favored by Him and so blessed...what the fuck are they worried about? When Jesus gets here, He gets here, right? Why toil over it, why worry, why scare the shit out of yourselves wondering whether or not you are going to meet God's standard, hummm? If God is everywhere wouldn't everywhere and everything be a sign for believers? Go on that and be happy about it. If not, why try to make some kind of holy sign out of every damn thing that happens? That is so stupid. Besides, in Luke 11:29 didn't Jesus admonish those who sought signs, "When the multitudes were gathering together to him, he began to say, "This is an evil generation. It seeks after a sign. No sign will be given to it but the sign of Jonah, the prophet."

If you are a believer you shouldn't need any kind of sign because you already believe. With your whole heart at that. If you are a believer looking for or seeking or claiming to have discovered a sign or anything of the like you need to know you have a problem. There is something wrong with your faith from within you. You should not be seeking signs and trying to interpret crazy shit. Just do your divine duty and believe. You do not need to pop about on street corners and pubs and wherever claiming the signs of the times are here. Don't you understand that if people do not believe as you do they do not care, do not give a shit, do not believe in any second coming or first coming for that matter, and most certainly are not seeking signs? Sometimes non-believers might say, "Show me a sign," but that is just a way to try to break it to you demented people who believe this crapola that there are no signs, you have no signs, cannot make any signs, and should be holding signs reading "Disillusioned with Promises of Perfection."

Now, onto some videos.

 This is delicious fun! Sooo...this guy has a dream with Bill Nye the Science Guy, and has interpreted this dream to mean that Jesus' return is nigh? Wonderfully hilarious! What is the deal with filming this important message in your car, buddy?


 Dude, you people are idiots. Do you know of or have you ever heard of such things as minerals and gasses and natural phenomenon that can change the color of water to a reddish color? Why are you fucktards pretending that there are no explanations for this? You aren't scaring anyone but yourselves, you know this, right? A geo-scientist will know what is going on and sure as hell won't be scared...and the really great thing is you do not have to be such a person to know why the water is turning this color. By the way, it has nothing to do with Jesus or God.


 The sun and the moon do not act weird, you dumb twat. They cannot act or make decisions to do anything considered an act. The sun and the moon are part of the natural processes of this solar system, galaxy, and universe. Close your Bible and go get a milkshake.


 It is a goddamn sunset, you bastard. A SUNSET. Yes, is it beautiful, but this beauty should NEVER be distorted to be some kind of validation for your delusions and deficient faith.


 There have been soooo many people who for soooo long have said again and again that the signs of their times point to this Jesus fellow returning. This man's claims are nothing new at all. The disciples in the Bible thought the same damn thing. Hello.


 Haahah!! Here we have Santa Clause's younger brother making his own claims about Jesus' return while trying to sell a few DVDs at the same time.


 Dude, you totally fucked up your van. Did Jesus tell you to do that?


 Sooo...according to this video God wants to talk to you. Really? If God wants to chat with someone He can do it Himself and not through someone else. He is God and can do anything, right? So, this should not be a problem. If God wants to talk to people He can do it in person and NOT through someone.


 Natural...planet...processes. Got it?


 Yikes. So many Christians come across like they are the only ones in the universe who, if they believe in something fervently enough, whatever it is they believe in (no matter how fucking screwy) must be absolutely true.


 One day closer to being committed to an insane asylum...yay!!


 I guess this idiot has never heard of astronomy? Does he know what a star is? Does he know how light travels? Does he know why something in the sky would look like this? Does he bother to try to find out why before he jumps up and says it is a sign of Jesus coming back?


 You ding dongs say this with every single war. Even the people in the Bible said this in regards to the war that was occurring during their time in the New Testament. Get a new story, damn.


 This is a burning bush? WTF? You have never seen it happen before so it MUST be Jesus? Hah!!


 They're clouds, asshole. Clouds.


Holy shit. This man should go back to sleep because he looks so very, VERY tired I actually feel concerned for him. Geeze, buddy...please lay back down. And probably you should worry about this Jesus thing far less because I bet that isn't helping you sleep.


 Jesus wants you to be ready with oil? Say...is He a member of O.P.E.C. or anything like that?


 If God kept His promises Israel would not be in the pickles it is in, and neither  would they be in such a teeny little country, you know?


 Ahhh...signs that the delusions are far-reaching. Isn't that great?


Sooo...if people are believing in Jesus just so they will not be left behind...that is NOT believing for the sake of faith, is it?


Time is short? You do realize this has been said here and there for the last, oh, almost two thousand years? Whose time are you going by, whose watch? It doesn't matter whether or not you think time is short, honey. All that matters is that there is truth and plenty of it. And guess what? Your fairy tale ramblings of a divine zombie peeking around the corner just ready to spring on man is a crock of shit. Sorry to break it to you, but the truth does not consist of crocks of shit, nor has it ever.

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Sunday, November 24, 2013

Claims from Ridiculous Christians


Read Ester Lighthorse's NEW e-book Turkey Broth for the Spirit: Just a Few Questions: the Pentateuch:
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Joseph Farah

Have you ever come across a magazine called the Whistleblower? If you have not I encourage you to go and pick one up, take a peek inside, and read some of the craziest bullshit some Christians spew as truth. Absolute ridiculousness is what it is.

In the May 2011 issue of Whistleblower, Volume 20, No. 5, Joseph Farah writes an absurd article in a letter from the publisher on pages 3 and 4. I would like to comment on that particular article here. Yes, I know it is a fairly old article but I would still like to comment on it. I had actually never even heard of this magazine until I was at a friends home and she showed me a couple of articles from a different issue. I was intrigued and requested to borrow a few copies. I took the magazines home and began to go through them, coming across this piece fairly early on.

What I will do here is type the comment made by Farah, and then make a comment of my own in response. I will type his comments word for word just in case you were wondering. 

1. "Some people call me a radical." -Joseph Farah- May 2011 Whistleblower

     No. Radicals favor drastic political, social and economic reforms...something you clearly do not favor. You do not wish for gays to have the right to marry and you have problems with the idea of Pro-Choice (since it is otra de la ley of Him Who you worship) along with all sorts of other issues that you plant, grow, and harvest from your little field of religious-political fanaticism. Reforms should be good things. You wish to deny people basic rights and just in case you did not know, that would definitely NOT qualify as drastic reform. It might qualify as drastic set-back. 

     You have this air of wishing to revert to the 'old'. The 'old', some of it, is still very good. What you do not seem to understand is there are elements of the old that are not so good. Perhaps for the time in which it was birthed much of the old was good, but you also seem to forget that even those who created the old recognized that not all of it was good and great. It was all new, remember? Experimental. The Founding Fathers knew they wouldn't get it all right and even suspected they would get some of it wrong.


2. "As I've said many times, "conservatism" cannot save America. It's too far gone from what it was intended to be to save it through holding on to what we have left. And that, by definition, it what "conservatism" is all about."

     No. Your assessment of America being in a state of poor health is inaccurate. Yes, we DO have money problems and a deficit ten times the size of Texas. But, this is not what you are referring to, is it? Neither are you referring to pointless wars, the great need for good and affordable healthcare, bickering in Congress, helping communities to recover more quickly from natural disasters such as Katrina and Sandy, or dealing with the issues eating away at social security, are you?

     What you are referring to is essentially a religious issue for you, isn't it? For some twisted reason you think the issues that this nation in particular experiences are the direct result of people falling away from God and Jesus, right?


3. "If "conservatism" means cutting the budget but still overspending, borrowing from future generations and ignoring constitutional limits on the federal government's power, then I am not a conservative. Yet that is what many of the most prominent conservatives are doing in Washington right now."

     Oh, look! Here you try to make it look like it isn't a religious issue. This is a half-ass effort though, right? I mean, what is it that you say toward the very end of this article? Here is what you said:

     "If there is an opportunity for the bad guys to manipulate and exploit the crisis they have created, there is also an opportunity for lovers of liberty and lovers of God to do the same."

     See? You don't give a shit about the budget and the money and social security. What matters to you is WHO is qualified (according to your rules) to participate in various liberties and whether or not people who believe in God (presumably the same God you believe in) are the ones making the rules.

     Don't kid yourself into thinking that this country's problems have to do with people not wishing to follow your Invisible Pal. Yes, there are leaders in this country who abuse the system, abuse money, and abuse liberties...but this is NOT the case with all or even a majority of our leaders and has NOTHING to do with God. These problems are caused by people and not by some all-powerful divine being trying to teach the citizens of this nation any kind of lesson.


4. "George Washington was not a "conservative." Neither were the other founders of this once great country. They actually came up with something quite new in the history of the world- the idea of self governance. They did something unique in the history of the world. They not only threw off the yoke of foreign domination, but they invented a political system that took the shackles off the people and placed those shackles where they belong on central government."

     Sure, shackles were placed on our central government by the Founding Fathers. BUT, those shackles were intended for issues in regards to government function and legislation and NOT intended to shackle the government and prevent the government from changing things that somebody's God thinks are wrong...like same-sex marriage or removing religion from government (or keeping it out).

     Again, you are by no means a revolutionary or anything even remotely similar. What you ARE is a pouting Christian, put-out by government shaking the tethers of religion. So, what you do is try to regain, or help to regain control by disguising your divine predilections as budget concerns, constitutional concerns (a HUGE lie), and concerns over abuses of personal liberties. Do these problems exist? Oh, yes...they do. But these issues are not your true focus, are they?


5. "Because we don't need to create something new. We only need to find our way to rediscovering what we had, something that was perverted over time and today is under full-scale assault."

     You need to be specific here, Farah. Rediscover what we had? Which part do you want to rediscover? No marriage rights for gays and lesbians? No voting for women or blacks? Poll tax? Manifest Destiny and loads of dead and displaced Native Americans? God in schools? Guns for everyone? Prohibition? Segregation? 


6. "In this case, the revolutionaries are the ones running the show. They are the lawless ones. They are the ones who are perverting justice and morality and order. We are merely the resistance fighters."

     No. There are not revolutionaries running the show. Yes, there are some real mother fuckers in government who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground and who do abuse much. However, not every leader is like this no matter how much you want to over-exaggerate. Do we have some serious issues? YES. Name a country that does not...

     ...BUT, what makes America great has nothing to do with God and everything to do with our people and our desire to excel, to exceed expectations, to protect liberties for all, and to persist in a push to be fair. Sometimes we miss our mark...but goddamn if we don't keep getting right back up time and again. Even THAT takes a while at times, but THAT is who we are.

     Also, so long as you approach the issues within justice, morality, and order from ANY kind of religious angle it is you who is doing the perverting. Your idea of resistance fighting is nothing more than resistance to fairness and change.


7. "A friend of mine said it this way: "We're not in the middle of a revolution. We're fighting the American Devolution.""

     I think it is the devolution from the idea that America was founded by God, for God and for people who believe in God and worship God that bugs you and Christians like you the most. Not all Christians are like you...thank God.


8. "The very will of the American people is under attack in a thousand ways. It's under attack through the popular culture with its desensitizing images and messages. It's under attack from the establishment press, whose members think they are so much wiser than the simple rubes who work hard, provide for their families and serve their country faithfully and heroically in times of national emergency. It's under attack from high priests in black robes who issue decrees that make a disgrace of the concept of the rule of law and mock the will of the people. It's under attack from elitists who run major foundations. It's under attack from globalists who seek to destroy America's national sovereignty. And it's under attack from a central government that has broken the shackles deliberately placed on it just over 200 years ago by our Constitution. The onslaught is coming fast and furious from these enemies of liberty."

     You make it sound like the American people are stupid. What is wrong with you? Do you really think our citizens are desensitized to the things in this world that are right? Do you only watch and think about and read about the bad things that happen in this nation? There ARE good things, you know. Just because people play GTA, watch risque movies, go to church less or not at all and listen to Lady Gaga that does not mean that they don't care about each other and don't love this country.

     Oh, and I hope your reference to people serving the country faithfully DOES NOT only apply to those who believe in God, right? You DO know that Atheists who love this country, and people of other faiths who love this country serve faithfully as well...right alongside their Christian brothers and sisters, right?


9. "They are attempting to overwhelm the will of the people and the rule of law by setting political and cultural bushfires from coast to coast. The process is in overdrive. They believe they have an opportunity to reach their goals for the conquest of the American spirit in the short term, and they don't want to miss this opportunity."

     Conquest of the American spirit? Conquest of the American spirit? We have made it through the Revolution, Civil War, sickness outbreaks, great natural disasters, world wars, conflicts, great political scandals, great tragedies in some of our individual communities, presidential assassinations, and FAR MORE. So, if you think the American spirit can be so quickly diminished, so obtusely swept aside with such great disdain...your faith is misleading you, and you sir, are fucked in the head.


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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

God Speaks Through Me VI: Daily News Blog

These are the words of the divine as so related to me by the many personalities of God.

Seriously?
By: Christ Jesus the Fear Monger

Unlike some of my divine brethren, I happen to believe wholeheartedly that the End Times are indeed here for all of humanity to suffer through. The signs of such are literally everywhere, but because divine beings such as God the Purposeful Misinterpret-er, Lucifer, Satan, God the Dimwitted, and others, the vast majority of mortal beings of the planet earth cannot see that not only have they permanently lost their paddles, but their little canoe has completely and totally dumped them straight into the poo-poo creek.

Since humankind detests listening to those within their own ranks who were chosen by God Almighty to take the truth to the masses, I will reiterate all of these truths and give actual biblical prophecy to prove everything I say. There will then be absolutely zero excuses for non-believing people to cling to when Jesus rides his pony back into the picture and everyone has to pay for all the crap they have done in their lives.

Luke 21:36 says, "Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man." I can guarantee you right here and now that this verse can be directly translated to say, "You were given fair warning. Believe this way or die." God has always provided man with a chance to escape his wrath, and it is entirely up to man to properly translate these promises of God. At no point does man have the right or rhyme or reason to blame his shortcomings on God. God is perfect and also created man perfect. However, man is the one who fuc*ed that perfection up for himself, not God. Deal with it.

Matthew 24:21 says, "For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be." Right now there are major tribulations going on around the world. Never before in history has there been so much war and devastation in comparison to what man is now experiencing. War in the Middle East is rampant, the continent of Africa is home to many countries and governments that regularly fold in on themselves, Mexico can't seem to get its crap together long enough to form any semblance of government stability, Pakistan is just waiting to satiate its trigger-happy mentality and drop a bomb on a neighboring country, and a whole host of other problems abound.

Matthew 24:5 says, "For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many." As you know there certainly is no shortage of people claiming to be messengers of God. If you doubt this look it up on the Internet. You will find a b-zillion preachers and televangelists loudly declaring that Jesus is just around the corner. And after they claim this they turn around and ask for financial offerings...all in the name of Christ. Some of the individuals who come to mind when I read this verse are Jim Jones, David Koresh, Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, Charles Manson, and the evil monk Rasputin.

Matthew 24:6 says, "And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye not be troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet." This verse is very self explanatory, and if you have doubt as to its truth then I suggest you turn on the news and see just how many wars are going on right now: War in Lybia, Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Afghanistan are only a few places where war is rumored or is already taking place.

Matthew 24:7 says, "And nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences and earthquakes in divers places." Here is another obvious prophecy that is currently being fulfilled. Have you taken a good look at Africa and how many millions upon millions of people are not only fighting each other, but who are dying of starvation? There are more people in the current world that are dying from lack of food than there ever was in all of history. And there are mega quakes happening all over the planet, killing thousands upon thousands of people, and in every part of the world.

Timothy II 3:1-7 says, "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the TRUTH." Never before in history has mankind been more in love with itself than it currently is. This includes all of the gay and lesbian rights politics that is going on and getting worse and worse. God sees this and is not going to hesitate to absolutely destroy anyone who does not believe and worship him only.

Luke 21:20 says, "And when ye shall see Jerusalem compassed with armies, then know that the desolation thereof is nigh." Look at what is currently happening is Israel's part of the world right now. Israel is surrounded with enemy nations that are just looking for an excuse to wipe them off of the face of the planet.

Revelation 6:8 says, "And I looked, and behold, a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth." Again, I bid you to look around yourselves and watch the news and see all of the terrible things that are happening to people all over the world. People are killing each other with wanton abandon. Millions more starve every single day. 

Matthew 24:9 says, "Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake." Not a single day goes by without Christians being persecuted in some form or other. Prayer has been taken out of schools, Creation is not being taught in schools, people want to take "one nation under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance. All of these things just show a few examples of how Christians are being persecuted by the infidels of the world.

There are huge natural disasters, bigger hurricanes than have ever been experienced, tsunamis destroying countries, the change of currency in some places to one currency (like with the Euro), and even instances of people being jailed because they believe in God and Jesus. Economies around the world are faltering. All of these things are clear signs that Satan is about to take over the world.

I challenge any of the other divine beings to prove me wrong.

Jesus is coming, and he is super pissed.





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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Belief is Not Truth: Part II

Now, consider that God is not fact, but rather is only belief. And it does not matter whether the argument is for the existence of God as an actual personality or being, or as the descriptive term for everything that humans do not understand inasmuch as First Cause is concerned. The belief in God as an actual personality or being is born from the ideology that someone intelligent must be responsible for all of existence. Yet, it does not stop there, does it? Not only is this God Personality/God Being said to exist, but it is also given emotional and personality traits, given a gender, given needs and desires, assigned responsibility of specific actions, and even given the power of reasoning.

In order to sustain the belief of God as an actual personality and being a history is devised. This history has two purposes:
     1) To continue the cause of belief in God
     2) To provide substance for the claims based on the belief of the existence of God
The more dramatic this history is the longer it will be believed and the more fiercely it will be defended and fought over.

For some individuals and groups God is not necessarily a personality, but rather is the descriptive term for everything that is not understood about existence and the cause of such. Then as discoveries are made whatever was discovered is given a name, a cause, and a place. It is no longer considered to be part of God. Let us use volcanoes as an example. Early man thought that the reason volcanoes erupted was because the gods were angry with man. Now we know differently. Through the growth of geological sciences we now know that the eruption of volcanoes has absolutely zilch to do with God or any concept of such. Volcanoes, much like weather patterns, are a part of the health of this living planet we inhabit.

This can be said of every natural disaster. Such things have nothing to do with any God or divine personality wreaking havoc and punishment upon mankind. Natural disasters are not proof of God. Natural disasters are not strengthening fuel for the argument in favor of God. Natural disasters give no credibility to religion.

Such things are simply natural...and disastrous.

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