Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Would Christianity Lie To You?: Part II

What Else Might Christianity/Religion Lie To You About?

     I really like this video. It is a bit longer than most of the other videos but it very carefully explains and gives examples of all the styles of arguments within religion and how they may be utilized to mislead people or misdirect an argument.

     Outstanding. Simply outstanding. I truly agree with what this man has to say about vicarious redemption being a crock.

     Jesus Christ. The things people get their children to believe. Nothing like raising your children to grow up to fear everything that is 'outside' of God. Pay attention to what raising a child like this does to the mind of that child once they grow up into an adult.

     This wonderfully hilarious! I like the first part where the host says the letter looks like something the Unabomber sent him. Sometimes seeing the issues in a more humorous manner (such as in this video) helps people to calm down a bit and really see the crux of the issue as it lays.

     For how many years and decades and centuries have some people within humanity been trying to tell people that no matter how much the believing person may think so, no amount of belief can ever change what the truth is. On the other hand, truth CAN and DOES change belief. Remember that.

     The gentleman in this video speaks quite well, clearly stating the question/problem and then following immediately with the answer and clearly explaining that as well when necessary. I also think it is good that he notes that Christians include or leave out various evidence based on whether or not said evidence helps or hinders whatever the believer is trying to prove.

     More historical evidence as to the basis and thoughts and purposes of man creating gods and worshiping symbols such as the sun. 

     I grew up in a heavily religious family. We grew up learning that the wicked God haters in the world made up lies like those presented in this video in order to try to take people away from God to instead be dragged down to hell for an eternity. Lovely. I am glad I grew a mind of my own fairly quickly.

     Pay attention to the numbers presented here in this video...especially the number twelve and how it relates to months and days and years and even the twelve disciples of Jesus.

     In another blog I posted a set of ten videos that were created by a gentleman who studied the origins of Christianity and similar religions. When I watched those videos I first thought, "Right...all from the Egyptians." But after I did more and more research and realized how many paths logically lead to what the creator of those videos was saying I really began to see a lot more of what he was describing. The number parallels are absolutely amazing.

     After watching this video I did have to agree with the statement made by the narrator in the beginning...I found it DID tug on my heart strings. I could not help but to think about the huge wall of fear I fought to tear down, over many years, as I struggled to break away and completely free from the delusion and lie of religion.

     This is amazingly accurate. I hope loads of people watch this and then forward it to many others who will watch it.

     Like the narrator in this video I think back to how I sounded while I still believed in Christianity and felt it to be my duty to preach to whomever was around me. I shudder when I think of those times and the inconsideration I showed to those who knew better than I did. I am very glad I no longer believe the same way.

     Very quick and straight and to the point. Surely some of the people who read this will feel some kind of connection with what the lady is saying. Sometimes a conversation with a Christian becomes so encumbered by the stupid and pointless argument that simply saying one has 'faith' is a good enough answer to prove the truth of what is believed.

     I totally love the cartoon shorts produced by the makers of this video! Totally hilarious!

     Try showing this information to someone in Christianity and asked them how they explain the similarities and parallels to other much older, pagan religions. Hopefully you get further along than I did. Those believers I try to discuss this with become agitated quite quickly and usually end up saying I have been blinded by the devil and that they, the believer, will pray for me. Alrighty then.

     Pay attention to the amount of time necessary to create all of the stars and constellations and such. i had several Christians inform me that since God was the one who created time in the first place the rules of time did not apply to Him. Why? Because God is in complete command of everything and in His infinite power could instantaneously create all the stars and everything in the universe.

     This is wonderful and most excellent! Listen to how many of the commandments at first seem different but are actually the very same thing as another commandment...just worded slightly different.





Would Christianity Lie To You?

What Might Some of These Lies Be?
Part I
     There is so much more to religion and how it formed and who and what contributed to that formation. I would like to cover some of the inadequacies and misleadings of what is presented in religion as we know it, but before I do that I wanted to post this series of video documentaries on religion that I found on Youtube.
     The man who put these next ten videos together makes some very good points. I think a lot of what he says has merit. I do not agree with everything he says, but I do think the points he raises are in fact valid and based on sound research. Of course there will be scholars that disagree as well. This is okay.
     Part of studying and learning about ourselves is to learn as much as possible even when we do not want to and when we may think there is no possibility of there being another answer other than the ones people popularly cling to. Do not write off what he says too quickly but rather try to be open to the possibility of yet another explanation. Something I find to be of particular interest is the assertion made by our host of these videos that the crucifixion never happened. And I really mean that, it is interesting.

     More discussion about the ancient Egyptians, Romans, and the cast of the column of Trajan.

     This is very good information about some of the ideas of where many of the origins of religion emerge from Egyptian religions. There are some references to sex and the sacred nature of sex, but this information is not presented in an inappropriate manner.  

     This is also interesting and it was not until I watched this video in particular that I realized I really don't think about much of the drug use within the formation and practice of religion in the history of man. Eventually I will do some research and create a blog for it. In the meantime, this video is pretty good. I think the cut-aways to the recordings of shows that try to inform people about the history of religion and then the host's comments on such are quite helpful. Really pay attention to what he says about the religion of Julius Ceasar. 

     Sacred sex and the ideas that there was/is/are great power to be found within the energy of reproduction and pleasure and the purposes/uses of such are very interesting. It is a lot more to study though and you really gotta be careful of how you type it into the Youtube search or you get some really, really bad stuff that pops up on your computer screen. So, I would recommend that if you wish to learn more about this particular subject you go to a bookstore like Borders or BarnesnNoble where you can find the info you are looking for without accidentally downloading programs detrimental to your computer.

     The possibilities of the origins of many facets of religion, Abrahamic religions in particular, is something that far more people ought to look into with greater patience and care. It does not mean that you have to change everything that you believe, but to at least be aware of and open to ALL the information out there, and not just the information that you want to hear simply because it backs up what you believe really is an important thing to do.

     I can only imagine how many hard-line Christians would rather see the world come to an end than hear what this man has to say about the formation of religion into what we all know it to be today. I hope at least some Christians have the patience and foresight to watch these videos. Like I said before, they do not have to change what they believe, but it would be great if these films can at least help a little bit in getting the stubborn minds of Christianity in realizing there are so very many ways to think and live and believe and contribute to mankind...and just because a person does not choose Christianity does not make that person bad or terrible. Christians really need to move away from such aberrant thinking.

     Here a very good question is raised: Where is the list of all the people within history that other people thought of or worshiped as gods?

     Really and truly think about the implications of what this man has to say on religion and how modern day individuals and groups have come to understand and know and think how religion was developed by man.

     There is an amazing amount of information here and I found it necessary to watch these films several times over in order to ensure I was hitting the major points of what this guy was saying. i want to be sure the notes that I take will aid me in my own research. I hope at least some of the people watching this will do research. I think it is a terrible travesty to take the reigns that are attached to the horse of religion only to allow that horse to run away with you and end up serving you no postitive purpose whatsoever.



Tuesday, October 4, 2011

God Speaks Through Me VI: Daily News Blog

These are the words of the divine as so related to me by the many personalities of God.

Seriously?
By: Christ Jesus the Fear Monger

Unlike some of my divine brethren, I happen to believe wholeheartedly that the End Times are indeed here for all of humanity to suffer through. The signs of such are literally everywhere, but because divine beings such as God the Purposeful Misinterpret-er, Lucifer, Satan, God the Dimwitted, and others, the vast majority of mortal beings of the planet earth cannot see that not only have they permanently lost their paddles, but their little canoe has completely and totally dumped them straight into the poo-poo creek.

Since humankind detests listening to those within their own ranks who were chosen by God Almighty to take the truth to the masses, I will reiterate all of these truths and give actual biblical prophecy to prove everything I say. There will then be absolutely zero excuses for non-believing people to cling to when Jesus rides his pony back into the picture and everyone has to pay for all the crap they have done in their lives.

Luke 21:36 says, "Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man." I can guarantee you right here and now that this verse can be directly translated to say, "You were given fair warning. Believe this way or die." God has always provided man with a chance to escape his wrath, and it is entirely up to man to properly translate these promises of God. At no point does man have the right or rhyme or reason to blame his shortcomings on God. God is perfect and also created man perfect. However, man is the one who fuc*ed that perfection up for himself, not God. Deal with it.

Matthew 24:21 says, "For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be." Right now there are major tribulations going on around the world. Never before in history has there been so much war and devastation in comparison to what man is now experiencing. War in the Middle East is rampant, the continent of Africa is home to many countries and governments that regularly fold in on themselves, Mexico can't seem to get its crap together long enough to form any semblance of government stability, Pakistan is just waiting to satiate its trigger-happy mentality and drop a bomb on a neighboring country, and a whole host of other problems abound.

Matthew 24:5 says, "For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many." As you know there certainly is no shortage of people claiming to be messengers of God. If you doubt this look it up on the Internet. You will find a b-zillion preachers and televangelists loudly declaring that Jesus is just around the corner. And after they claim this they turn around and ask for financial offerings...all in the name of Christ. Some of the individuals who come to mind when I read this verse are Jim Jones, David Koresh, Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, Charles Manson, and the evil monk Rasputin.

Matthew 24:6 says, "And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye not be troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet." This verse is very self explanatory, and if you have doubt as to its truth then I suggest you turn on the news and see just how many wars are going on right now: War in Lybia, Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Afghanistan are only a few places where war is rumored or is already taking place.

Matthew 24:7 says, "And nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences and earthquakes in divers places." Here is another obvious prophecy that is currently being fulfilled. Have you taken a good look at Africa and how many millions upon millions of people are not only fighting each other, but who are dying of starvation? There are more people in the current world that are dying from lack of food than there ever was in all of history. And there are mega quakes happening all over the planet, killing thousands upon thousands of people, and in every part of the world.

Timothy II 3:1-7 says, "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the TRUTH." Never before in history has mankind been more in love with itself than it currently is. This includes all of the gay and lesbian rights politics that is going on and getting worse and worse. God sees this and is not going to hesitate to absolutely destroy anyone who does not believe and worship him only.

Luke 21:20 says, "And when ye shall see Jerusalem compassed with armies, then know that the desolation thereof is nigh." Look at what is currently happening is Israel's part of the world right now. Israel is surrounded with enemy nations that are just looking for an excuse to wipe them off of the face of the planet.

Revelation 6:8 says, "And I looked, and behold, a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth." Again, I bid you to look around yourselves and watch the news and see all of the terrible things that are happening to people all over the world. People are killing each other with wanton abandon. Millions more starve every single day. 

Matthew 24:9 says, "Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake." Not a single day goes by without Christians being persecuted in some form or other. Prayer has been taken out of schools, Creation is not being taught in schools, people want to take "one nation under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance. All of these things just show a few examples of how Christians are being persecuted by the infidels of the world.

There are huge natural disasters, bigger hurricanes than have ever been experienced, tsunamis destroying countries, the change of currency in some places to one currency (like with the Euro), and even instances of people being jailed because they believe in God and Jesus. Economies around the world are faltering. All of these things are clear signs that Satan is about to take over the world.

I challenge any of the other divine beings to prove me wrong.

Jesus is coming, and he is super pissed.





Friday, September 30, 2011

God Speaks to Me V: Daily News Blog

These are the messages as relayed to me by the various personalities of God.

Getting What They Deserve
By: God the Diabolical

I am sure many of you have seen or heard the newscasts about Anwar al-Awlaki and Samir Khan being killed by an airstrike launched by counter terrorism forces in Yemen. Supposedly it was a joint CIA-U.S. Military operation. Never mind the question of what U.S. forces were doing in that area of the world, but it turns out that al-Awlaki was supposedly an American citizen. Yes. An American citizen. 

Now, there are apparently many individuals who are very much up in arms about this particular American citizen being targeted and killed. Many people point out the fact that this person had rights to trial and all that horse-shit as so appointed by the United States Constitution. 

Really? This guy who you say was a U.S. citizen was encouraging others to KILL U.S. citizens...or don't you listen to what this ding-dong was up to in his spare time? Some people insist that this man should have been put on trial, that evidence of his misdeeds should have been gathered and presented to the court system. 

What were these people going to use as proof of this idiot's extremism? Were they going to wait until they had video footage of him making bombs and planting them? Did they want to wait until they had another list of innocent people killed by psychotic religious extremists who truly think they are part of something great and good and part of God?

Whether or not the nut-hatch al-Awlaki was born in New Mexico, making him a U.S. citizen is not an issue here, oh people of earth. This guy did not behave as a citizen. Don't you get it? He gave two shits and a donkey squirt for any of the standards that individuals who uphold the U.S. Constitution stand for. His actions and encouragements to others to kill Americans and destroy Americans were in themselves very loud statements that he wanted nothing to do with the United States of America, its people, its Constitution, its laws, or its citizenship.

Mr. al-Awlaki planted particular seeds in his garden, and guess what? The little religiously deluded prick reaped EXACTLY WHAT HE SOWED! And you know what? The same thing will happen to all his little pals who try the same damn thing. You cannot claim association and citizenship and benefits of the laws with a country that you have openly declared war on, you assholes. Common goddamn sense...get some.

People like al-Awlaki are exactly why religion has absolutely zero place in politics. Bunch of crap, it is. What the hell is wrong with you humans? Stop killing each other over make-believe deities and stories of martyrdom and what you might win if you go about killing people who believe differently than you.


And now I move onto comments of other bits of news...

China, nice rocket you got there, eh? Care to tell everyone in the world why you decided to play 'America the Beautiful' on your national television when showing your citizens what the rocket would be doing in space? Was the rocket made with American parts and you were simply offering your thanks through song? Well, at least now no one can call you ungrateful.

Ahhh, Bank of America. Going to load up another fee on your already fee loaded patrons? Tell you what, enjoy it while you can, because sooner or later your patrons will get a clue, pull out all their monies and investments, and go to other banks. Maybe even the Bank of Japan...hah!

Did you hear about the grandfather who survived, like, six days in a 200 foot ravine after being in a car wreck, living off of leaves, bugs, and creek water? Amazing! That guy is totally hardcore! My divine hat is off to you! I hope your recovery is swift and complete.

Dude, PETA, shut the fu*k up and leave the meat eaters of the world alone. You are really up in arms about this so-called 'sexy chicken' advertisement? Just for that I am going to eat a fired chicken sandwich AND a hamburger for lunch.

So, a bear in British Columbia walks into a pizza restaurant and...eats a pizza. Where is PETA on this one? Your asses know that pizza can't possibly be good for a bear, right?

Syria...let's get serious, okay? You want to know why the U.S. has such a problem with your dumb ass? Because you keep promoting dumb shit and even dumber people, that is why. Stop doing the stupid crap that you do and there won't be such a problem. By the way, pissing off Hilary Clinton is seriously the WRONG thing to do. Take it from the mouth of the divine, dude, she will destroy your ass and you will only have yourself to blame for it.

Ah, Mr. Obungle! Surely you did not think I would close this divine comment section without making a comment on you, did you? So, suffering a little thinness in the 'ole pocket money, eh? Do you really think that holding a dinner where each plate is ten thousand dollars or more is going to help you? Considering the lowliness of your approval rating, do you think many people want to pay thousands of dollars to attend a dinner just to hear you jibber-jabber on more useless crap that you will either never do, or that will never make any amount of measurable difference? Like one of my divine compatriots has previously stated...all of us divine beings are crossing our fingers that you do not get re-elected. Humm, I wish to hell Hilary was running for office.


Thursday, September 29, 2011

God Speaks to Me IV: Daily News Blog

This is the information as relayed to me by the various personalities of God.

Survival Kit for the Religiously Afflicted
By: God the Manic

Dude, I totally saw this on the Internet and I just HAD to make sure you humans saw this! It is some hilarious stuff! Not only that, but it happens to hold within it a hell of a lot of truth.


 Go to this website for some delicious common sense:

https://sites.google.com/site/wiseonecartooncreations/survival-kit-for-the-religiously-afflicted

Sunday, September 25, 2011

God Speaks to Me III: Daily News Blog

These are the messages of God as so related to me by the various personalities of the divine.

Same Crapola, Different Day 
By: God the Seriously Deluded

I am only going to say this of the warring Muslim nations...if you all injected a little alcohol into your daily lives and diets you would probably have a whole hell of a lot more fun, get invited more places (that means YOU Ahmadinejad) , and be looked at more as the neighborhood party rats than the neighborhood terrorist thugs.

Hey, Connie Schultz, you don't really think that by QUITTING you will make the so-called 'target' on your back any smaller, do you? You say you want to weigh in on issues that mean a lot to you. Well, quitting is NOT a good start. Get some goddamn balls, honey. You say you are not defined by your husband, the senator. You are correct! You are defined by the fact you are a LOSER because you were worried what people thought of you, and a QUITTER since you ran away from your job. Nice. Do all Americans a favor and NEVER run for office.

The loser 'hikers' that were released by Iran are home. Damn. How could people with such poor instincts get as far as they have in life? And what kind of dip-turds let them back home? Idiots who go hiking in freakin' IRAN of all places ought to be put to sleep. Stop giving these assholes news coverage. Next thing you know there will be a group of swap meet gypsies arrested in Somalia while on a whitewater rafting trip.

If I see one more JG Wentworth commercial with the stupid opera singing I am going to scream. Crappy advertising like that only makes crappy television programming worse.

You remember the story of the boy who cried wolf? That is what is going to happen with the government shut-down. They keep saying it is going to happen, but it never does. Eventually it will...and no one will give a shit. Not that they give a shit now.

So, gold prices are plunging? Hah! I wonder what they are going to do with all the commercials that advise people to invest in gold since it never goes down in price. Say, Pat Boone, didn't you endorse a commercial like that?




So, Mr. Obungle addresses the Black Caucus and tries to sound deep and introspective by telling people to stop complaining and do something...or some shit like that. Like he is some great doer himself. Sure, if you count screwing up everything he touches as 'doing' anything. Whatever, Mr. Obungle. Wayyyy too little, wayyyy too late. I speak for all of those of a divine heritage when I say we hope to hell you will NOT be elected again.

What is this new energy-type scandal with a company that received MILLIONS upon millions in loans and then filed for bankruptcy? No one knew what was happening or saw this coming? What kind of horseshit is that? And did you see all of the company representatives plead the Fifth? People like that can't tell the truth to save themselves or anyone else. Didn't Mr. Obungle's people push the loan for this company? Yep. THAT says a whole lot right there.

Mr. Obungle says he is a warrior for the middle class. Nope. He isn't. He is a warrior for a group of ass-clowns, maybe, but for the middle class? No. The middle class works hard. The ONLY thing Mr. Obungle works hard at is making a big mess even bigger.


 

Thursday, September 22, 2011

God Speaks to Me II: Daily News Blog

These are the messages of God as so related to me through the various personalities of the divine.

Morons Unite!
By: God the Mean Spirited

Well, well, well. What can I say about the supposed human creation of God? How about this simple fact: There are a lot of fu*king stupid people out there in your neck of the galaxy. Let us begin...

So, this convicted criminal Troy Davis spoke with me just this morning, and what did he say? He said he cannot understand why his attorneys waited until 1994, three years after his original conviction, to try to say that witnesses had recanted their statements. The first appeals were filled with assertions that Troy did not receive a fair and equal trial (problems with the trial site and the jury selection) and that defense attorneys did not provide effective counsel. Why did counsel wait so long to assert that  witnesses were tainted? Maybe they didn't know? Possible. If so, why did counsel for Troy try to challenge the conviction in 2000, citing that the use of the ole electric chair was cruel and unusual punishment? Did they really believe in his innocence, or were they simply trying whatever they thought might work to either overturn his conviction or commute his death sentence to life? Do they understand that these actions did not help to cement the idea that there may have indeed been credible doubt? Do they know what CREDIBLE doubt is? Not all doubt is credible, do they understand this?

And how can I not mention something about the idiot 'hikers' who were finally released from Iran? Not much, except that they are idiots. Who the hell goes hiking in IRAN? Hell, why not go on a picnic or camping excursion in Afghanistan? Sure. I'll make the sandwiches and you make the fruit punch. If people are dumb enough to go hiking in Iran and get caught, shit, let their dumb asses stay there. Why would you want people that stupid in your country anyways? Don't let them back into your country where they will get married, procreate, and make MORE stupid people.

Ohhhhh, Mr. Obungle. Well, why don't you do everyone on your planet a favor and STOP trying to pretend you know what the hell you are doing in politics, humm? Your voon-der-bar election slogan of "Yes We Can!" apparently only refers to getting into more debt, fighting more useless wars, getting into more debt, demolishing the economy, getting into more debt, bungling healthcare reform, getting into more debt, growing the unemployment percentage as if it were a garden perennial, and...that's right...getting into more debt. By the way, Mr. Obungle, you seriously need to do something about the people you have making up your little propaganda stories that are supposed to make you look good, because they aren't very good, aren't believable, and only make you look worse. Fire them. Get better writers. Hell, hire Stephen King! Just about everything he writes is a bestseller! 

Yay! Government shut down! It reminds me of the winter months when there are loads of snow in some areas of your planet and all the kids are hoping for school to be cancelled...except it never is. Stop getting the hopes of the nation up by saying there is going to be this big damn government shut down...and then pulling the plug on pulling the plug. It is emotional trauma. Pull the goddamn cord and get it over with. Use it as a tool with which to get rid of all the crap politicians. Just don't replace the idiots with more idiots as this will not help your country.

You humans in the United States want to help your debt situation? Hey, you politicians who never pray but should, forgive some of the debt to the middle and lower classes and extend them business credits, give them their homes (and I do mean GIVE) and forgive their education debts with the chance to pursue even greater education goals. Give colleges and universities credits, give home building companies credits. Forgive debts to countries that will forgive your debt in return. Get as close as possible to starting from financial scratch, set the numbers at zero and extend credit. Get people back to learning, earning, building, and buying.

And stop giving a flying fu*k what that freak Ahmadinejad has to say. Don't you get it? Dude is beyond nuts, and he is going to continue to say crazy shit because he KNOWS it bugs the shit out of you. So STOP listening to the little freak and inviting him places. No one fu*king wants to hear his useless rhetoric anyways. Let his own people remove his dumb ass from political power. Stop involving yourselves with trying to solve problems that are not your goddamn problem, geeze.

Texas. Look, did God bless you? I suppose so. I admire your fervent desire to get the gravy train of the justice system moving by clearing out Death Row. HOWEVER, you have got to make sure the guys you put to death are really guilty, alright? You, too, Georgia. And all you people inside and outside of the justice system stop making race an issue in goddamn everything you possibly can. Let the evidence speak. By the way, the color of one's skin should NEVER be evidence, got it? If the fu*ker is guilty the evidence will say so...not their ethnicity or any kind of crap-doodle like that. Race is old goddamn news. Get over it.

Tea Party, you can take a friggin' hike. The United States is a coffee drinking nation anyways, or didn't you know that?

Mr. Obungle, thank JESUS you are not the coach of my favorite NFL team, because your plans SUCK!



Tuesday, September 20, 2011

God Speaks to Me I: Daily News Blog

This blog is written word for word as per the instructions of God the Irritated, who speaks through me...much like the way that God Almighty speaks through Pat Robertson. See, Pat, you are not the only one who can communicate with the make-believe.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid
By: God the Irritated
While I normally do not like to involve myself in the absurd and nonsense filled activities of humans, I have decided to make an exception today. I watched several television news channels today and am appalled at the stupidity of some of the human beings that inhabit the planet and equally appalled at what is considered viable news.

Why don't we start with a commercial I saw while watching one of these news channels. So, this commercial comes on and is encouraging people worldwide to sign some kind of petition to show support for Israel, show support for peace in the Middle East, and to show how much people are against other nations in the Middle East waging war on Israel. Seriously. This grand petition is supposed to be circulated around the word not only to regular joes, but to political leaders everywhere.

Now, as you know there has been unrest in the Middle East since God knows when. Some people just can't seem to be happy unless they are pestering or bickering with someone else...and usually over religion in some form. Stupid. So stupid. What is even dumber is the idea that some grand petition will change the minds of people who are dead set on destroying others. Do you really think those who desire to wage war are going to give two shits and a monkey's ass about some petition? Nope, they don't. Even if you managed to get a billion signatures they wouldn't care. 



The next news bit to discuss has to do with the idiot 'hikers' who still have not been released by Iran. First things first, who the hell goes to Iran for a hiking trip? Have they heard of Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, the Matterhorn, Mount Everest, Mount McKinley, and an array of other places to hike? Secondly, who picks one of the most dangerous places in the world to go on a little backpacking trip? Lastly, our precious little backpackers don't look very much like backpacking hikers, do they? I thought the CIA was better at disguising themselves and blending in. I guess I was wrong. 

Now we discuss this Don't Ask, Don't Tell military policy taking a hike (Hah! Good pun considering what we were just discussing in the previous paragraph.). Myself and all the other gods in the universe don't give the tiniest damn what your sexual orientation is, got that? Stop making such a big fuss over guys who like the pole and girls who like the carpet.

Moving on, I am sure many people have heard of this 'killer' Killer Whale that has killed a third person. Some advice, stay out of his goddamn water and he'll probably leave you alone.
Next, we have some seismologists on trial for not issuing an adequate warning for an earthquake. How is that for amazingly stupid? The closest you can get to predicting an earthquake is, "Yep, you live by a fault line. Sooner or later the ground is gonna shake." Why don't Americans who are dissatisfied with the presidency of Mr. Obungle sue the democrats for offering and selling damaged and ineffective political goods?

Now we go on to the group of students who painted themselves black and wore the colors of the Jamaican flag in support of Jamaican track stars, or something like that. Oh, and they were chanting something like, "Smoke more pot! Smoke more pot! Smoke more pot!" And of course someone got their feelings hurt. Isn't it always like that? Someone takes a prank or a joke or something done in fun and purposely interprets it as racist in origin and racially discriminating in purpose. Awww. Did someone's few-lings get hurt? Poor wittle baby. No one was throwing bricks through windows, yelling racial slurs, beating up minorities, inciting a race riot, or trying to make a political statement. This is not a racial issue. Grow a fuc*ing backbone, people. There ARE real racial issues out there and this IS NOT one of them. This is a bunch of kids goofing off and having fun. Who fuc*ing cares? Are you going to stand there and point at everything that could be twisted into an issue of race, make it an issue of race, and cry that your feelings were hurt or that you were offended? Tell me, how many white people make a racial issue when minorities dress up as Santa Clause at Christmas?

Moving on to the news that some $1 billion dollars plus worth of San Francisco/Bay Area bridge work has been out sourced to China...well...what can you say? So much for some companies trying to help America resolve the growing unemployment rate. How many Americans or American companies could have been paid with all that money? Let China take care of its own jobs and its own money issues. Keep all that money and work in the United States where it is definitely needed.

Last, but certainly not least, let me say something about Mr. Obungle's proposed tax hikes of $3 trillion or so to the rich folk. It is supposed to take place over a period of ten years. That is not going to do crap to ease the debt of the U.S. That is $300 billion a year for ten years, but with rampant spending and ballooning debt, $300 billion a year is peanuts. When you have a country that regularly racks up TRILLIONS of dollars of debt every year, well, $300 billion a year won't do shit. Then, ten years from now the U.S. will be in even more debt than it is now. Not to mention, the proposed tax hikes mean absolutely DICK when the tax breaks offered counter the tax hikes. Hah! You never even left square one.

Most Sincerely,
God the Irritated

Thursday, September 8, 2011

In His Name II: Sacrifice

Sacrifice in the Holy Bible is out of control.
 Blood for this...
Blood for that...
Blood for a lot of things...
In fact, if you take the time to actually read through the Holy Bible, Old and New Testaments both, you will find hard evidence (how is that for a pun? Bible...hard evidence...HAH!) that the supposedly loving God of the universe LOOKS for reasons to kill something or someone. He makes a point of asking or telling people to kill others...even their own children. Then, to show how serious He is about wanting the blood of innocents, He murders His only Son in His own name. So, God sent His only begotten Son to be murdered in His (God's) own name. Hah! Do folks who believe in this crappy-doo actually pay attention to what it is exactly that they are putting so much faith in? Apparently not.

In His Name

There are so very many things that people claim to do on instruction from God, either directly or through the Holy Bible. When you hear someone spouting off about such as you are passing by...hell...ignore them. If they are talking directly to you about it tell them that lots of people think they are receiving instruction from beings that are non-existent. These people are called schizophrenic, psychopathic, pathological, AND plain fu*king crazy. Nothing like being disillusioned by the divine.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Autopsy of Christianity II


The Autopsy of Christianity Stoops: By Ester Lighthorse
Sample Chapter
 
Chapter 6

    It was one of the few times in her life that she was almost NOT able to take control of her temper and make herself stop. She very nearly killed Don right there in the airport terminal. It would not have been the end of the world if she had, but it wouldn’t exactly have been an easy situation to deal with.
    Instead she found herself coming out of her haze of rage as she saw that her fingers were buried deep in the neck of Don, his lifeblood seeping around the fingers that finally realized what they were doing.
    Regina’s breath caught in her throat as her brain registered the red blood that poured forth from Don and onto her hands. She pulled her hands away from his throat and it seemed as though they cried out in silent protest, begging to finish the job of silencing yet another unworthy comrade whom they had detested for so long.
    She felt the ebb of his life tip-toeing in the precipice of death. She was not sorry for what she had done, but she was sorry she found it necessary to save him when she was so close to completely and totally expunging the idiot from the face of the planet.
    Closing her horribly solid black agate eyes Regina took a slow, deep breath and reopened her eyes. They were back to their normal aqua blue color. She realized she was still atop Don, her right knee buried in his groin, and she moved her knee and straddled him. She took his arms and arranged each one straight out and then moved from her straddling position to pull Don’s legs straight.
    Then she reached over to where the broken flowerpot pieces lay scattered amidst the dark, peaty soil that it had once held and grabbed two fistfuls of the soil.
    She did not feel the pair of young eyes watching her.
    Taking the soil over to Don she placed it on his neck, laying it thickly where the blood had been draining from his body. Three more times she grabbed large fistfuls of the soil and placed it on Don’s neck and face and in his ears, nose, eyes, and mouth. When she was done she leaned forward and whispered into one of his soil-clogged ears.
    Don’s eyes flickered open and he sat up suddenly.
    “Regina! You’re all right!” Don spat clots of soil from his mouth and began to furiously slap the soil from his face and eyes and ears and nose. “Where is he? Where did he go?!” Don demanded as he tried to stand up. His ankle buckled and cried out at the sharpness of the hot pain, crumpling back down to the floor.
    “Yes, Don! I’m all right!” Regina said in a frightened voice. She caught Don as he crumpled to the floor after trying to stand, “No, Don. Don’t try standing. Your ankle might be broken. Oh, Don!” She threw her arms around her husband and hugged him fiercely. “The man threw the flowerpot at you and then ran. I was worried you were badly hurt and did not see which way he ran as I was tending to you. Oh, thank God you’re okay!”
    Regina helped Don slap away the soft clumps of soil that clung to his shirt. His hair stood out from his head in crazy directions, the silver of his age darkened by the dirt in his hair. Don felt the moisture on his neck  and his shirt felt sticky with it. He touched his hand to his shirt and then looked at his hand. For some reason he was sure he would see that the moisture on his hand would be his own blood. It wasn’t.
    “Oh you poor dear,” Regina crooned. “He threw his drink on you right before he punched you! You stumbled back and gave him quite a kick to the chest, and then he fell, picked up the flowerpot, and threw it at you!” She touched his cheek and he winced away in pain. “Don’t worry, Hon. I called security from the phone over there. They will be here any minute. Don?” He was looking at something on the floor with a curious expression. “What is it?” He put a finger in his mouth, felt around a moment, and then picked up two small items from the floor.
    “The attacker knocked out three of my molars!” Don exclaimed and then put his finger back into his mouth to confirm. “Here are two of them,” he held out his palm. Two crowns of two molars stared up at Regina from his palm. She took in the sight with genuine surprise. Don began to look around on the floor for the third crown, not that finding it would really make any difference. “Do you see the third tooth?” he asked her.
    “Uhm, no,” she answered as she too began to search for it. “Maybe you swallowed it.”
  
    Two hours later Don and Regina Stoops were the only passengers on a specially chartered flight from Los Angeles, California, to Epperson, Colorado. Don’s right leg was in a cast from the knee down. His ankle had been broken. When the security personnel at the airport had discovered that Don and Regina Stoops had been attacked they initiated an immediate shut-down of that section of the airport and embarked on a room by room search for the perpetrator. Unfortunately, the wily attacker had made his getaway.
    The attack on Don and Regina Stoops was all over the news, national and international. Regularly scheduled shows had been excitedly pushed aside on nearly every television station to instead focus on bringing to the public the latest information of the unfolding drama of what was now being referred to as the ‘Crisis on Calvary.’
    News anchors around the world relayed the story of how Don and Regina Stoops had found their son collapsed on the kitchen floor of his home just that morning. He had come around and complained to his parents that he was having a hard time breathing and his chest ached terribly. At first he had refused his parents’ pleas to be taken to the hospital, but when he felt his breathing become more difficult and his chest hurt even more Christianity relented. Don and Regina had taken him to Kelsey McGregor Memorial Hospital where he died a short time later. Memorial services were pending the autopsy results.
    The television channels would flash pictures of Christianity and his parents at various stages of his life as the voice of the news anchors continued in the background. Arial pictures of the swelling crowds at Kelsey McGregor Memorial Hospital were also shown. The crowds there had grown ten times in size after the news of Christianity Stoops’ death had been broadcast.
    The news reported that after their son had died Don and Regina Stoops left Epperson, Colorado, and took a flight to Los Angeles, California, to be with family members. Upon arriving at the airport Don and Regina had deplaned and were exiting the terminal when a man approached Don Stoops and yelled at him that he (Don) and Regina were guilty of taking away the light of the world by allowing their son to die. The man then threw his milkshake on Don and punched him. A short fight ensued wherein Don had three teeth knocked out. By the time security had arrived the attacker had made his getaway.

    Regina Stoops stared out of the small plane window onto the white cotton candy accumulation of clouds below. To her the story that she had spun on such short notice and planted in Don’s mind sounded thin, quite thin indeed. But, it would simply have to do until she came up with something better. All she needed was a short nap and a little bit of time to focus more clearly on what her objectives were.
    She took her eyes away from the window and closed her eyes and breathed in a deep and silent sigh. Without opening her eyes she reached for the button on her armrest that would put her seat into a declining position and pushed it. The seat eased back, not quite as much as she would have liked, but it would do.
    Pushing all other concerns from her mind Regina began to focus on what she needed most. First of all, she needed to figure out how she would deal with the discoveries that the doctors doing the autopsy on her son had no doubt already made and would eventually release to the public. What were they likely to say? That they had been doing an autopsy on a man that had two fully functioning hearts? It really didn’t matter whether or not the people receiving such absurd news believed what the doctors had to say. The very assertion of such a thing would dig up and revive too many old arguments, and this time more people would be willing to listen to what the opposition of Regina Stoops had to say. She simply could not have that.
    Then there was the fact that almost no one knew that Christianity Stoops was at Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology. This would have been so much easier to deal with if the bodies had been switched as planned, but it was a moot point to think of such. She had to be the first to mention that her son’s body was no longer at Kelsey Memorial. And wherever she decided to say that her son’s body was it sure as hell could not be Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology. This meant she had a hell of a lot of lying to do.
    Mordecai was a loose end (a loose end of Don’s creation) that would definitely have to be tied or burnt off. The doctors at Kelsey Memorial were not really a problem since Regina knew they would say whatever she asked them to. Don might think he was in control of that top of the line, state-of-the-art facility, but he was sadly mistaken. She was the one who was really behind the decisions of which doctors got to work there, which health programs and insurances were accepted, which new and amazing treatment discoveries were released to the public, and the protocol by which walk-in patients were accepted or turned away. The driver of the hearse that had held her son was nothing more than a sniveling idiot who could very easily be controlled with even the faintest promise of an Eight-Ball. And even if she decided to kill him, which she just might, no one would miss such a forgettable human being.
    No. The good folks over at Kelsey Memorial were not the ones that really concerned her. It was the good-for-nothing snoops over at Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology that worried her. Doctors Roe and Seng had quite the reputation for getting directly to the heart of a matter, defining the problem, and suggesting a course of treatment that almost always worked. She had no control whatsoever over that facility. It was privately run and privately funded, and the doctors that worked there were the cream of the creamiest crop. They were brain-buster men and women who made a very good living leaving nothing to mere chance or simple belief. They were the most dangerous of people since they questioned everything, even their own conclusions.
    Regina had never really wanted her son sent to Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology. All she wanted was the reputation that they had for finding and defining the truth, truth that was supposed to be found in what was the ringer corpse for her son. Unfortunately for her, the situation had more than gotten a little out of hand. It had taken a complete nose-dive into the realm of the Twilight Zone where everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong, and then some.
    In the long distant past Regina had had some run-ins with the faculty of Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology. At first whenever they released a study or a treatment that she did not approve of she set about digging in her heels and doing everything possible to discredit them. However, because of their strict policy of finding solutions through consistent questioning and reasoning she had great difficulty in denouncing any of their claims. Eventually she resorted to agreeing with them on a limited basis, or simply taking whatever findings they made public and misinterpreting them in ways that were subtle, yet terribly damaging to those receptive of the misinterpreted information.
    She did not know how much information the doctors performing the autopsy had shared within the walls of their own institution. Deciding to play it safe she told herself to assume they had shared everything with everyone inside their own walls. Yet, without any current negative press about either herself or her son on the news she felt confident that they had not yet shared any of their information with anyone on the outside.
    Doctors Roe and Seng would definitely have to go, along with anyone else they told. But you just said they probably shared everything they discovered with everyone in their facility, she told herself. True. Very true. That left only one solution.
    Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology, all of it, would have to go…lock, stock, and barrel.
    Regina opened her eyes with a start and glanced over at Don. He was in the next row over, plaster cast ankle propped up on the seat across from him, and head tilted back in a snore. Her lips slowly curled into a slight smile. She knew just how to deal with Roe and Seng and their special little facility.
    And as an added bonus, hell, she could get rid of the idiot sitting across the isle.

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The Autopsy of Christianity


The Autopsy of Christianity Stoops: By Ester Lighthorse
Sample Chapter

Chapter 5

    Regina Stoops was a woman of many talents. Highly intelligent and gifted in the arts of persuasion she was the master manipulator of all manipulators. Her intuitive powers were uncanny, and if a person was afraid of her she could smell that fear from a long ways away. She did not hesitate to utilize the fear she sensed in others to suit her own means and ends.
    A woman of old, Regina had more than just been around the block a few times. She was the one who had designed and built the block. She knew every nook and cranny, every shortcut, every alley way, every shadow. With ruthless precision she delegated the who, what, when, where, and why. It was not very often that she was bested by anyone, and whenever something like that did happen it was always a direct result of some asshole or other failing to follow instruction.
    She prided herself in the manner in which she had raised her only son, Christianity Stoops. From his very birth she taught him how to garner respect and instill fear. She taught him how to control and direct the minds of men. And in the event that those he led turned on him, she also taught her son how to slip through the judgments of humanity, re-create and re-invent himself, and then re-integrate into society.
    The death of her son was not a complete surprise to her. She knew damn well he was more than in just a little trouble health-wise. So, she had been biding her time and planning everything perfectly so that she would be able to render the proper treatment to cure that which ailed him. Unfortunately, for all of her intuitive abilities she had underestimated just how very deathly ill her son was. That was okay, though. She could work this out. She could make it work to her advantage. There was always a way to get done what needed to be done, and she always found that way.
    Something wasn’t quite right, though, and ever since leaving Kelsey McGregor Memorial Hospital she had felt an uneasy queasiness pecking away at her gut. At first it was relatively easy to push such thoughts away, marking it up to the stress of the situation. As the day pressed on it became harder and harder to ignore the feeling that something was terribly wrong. And now the feeling had settled over everything within her and without her like the thick blankets of doom that would settle over the Midwestern farms right before a brigade of tornadoes tore everything to shreds.
    Looking at Don as he gazed forlornly through the airport terminal window she immediately regretted not acting on her gut instincts to personally check whether or not the body of her son had been switched according to plan. In many respects, seeing was believing for Regina Stoops. She considered herself to be a woman of honor and expected people to take her at her word, yet detested taking people at their word. She liked to see things for herself, needed to see things for herself. It was better that way because then she could say without a doubt that she knew something for sure.
    It would have been as simple as unzipping the body bag upon arrival at Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology and giving her ‘son’ a goodbye kiss on the forehead. In the few seconds it would have taken to do so she would have been able to tell whether or not her son was still in the bag or if he had been switched as instructed. The ringer corpse she had arranged to switch with her son’s body had all of the same tattoos, but was in far better physical condition. Under no circumstance did she want anyone to discover the true condition of the health of her son.
    After leaving Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology in the hearse, Don had received a text on his cell phone that said “It is done.” It had been from Mordecai. Sitting so close together in the front of the hearse Regina had seen that the text had been from Mordecai. But, not wanting to make a scene in front of the hearse driver she had said nothing. Instead she looked straight ahead out of the windshield, forcing her bubbling temper to remain in check.
    And there was something else bothering her and gnawing at the fringes of her mind and begging to be brought front and center. It was something that had to do with the loading of her son’s body onto the hearse at Kelsey Memorial. Was it the hearse? No. Was it the gurney? No. Had she left something important at the hospital, maybe her identification or her purse? No. She had those things with her. What was it?
    She continued to brood over it and systematically began replaying the entire morning in her mind, checking things off as she recollected them. She was absolutely confident she would figure it out, probably in a rogue thought of instant illumination.
    Now as she approached Don in the airport terminal she wondered what in the hell else had gone wrong? And there was so very much that felt wrong, wasn’t there? Even though Mordecai (one of Regina’s least favorite people on the planet, a person whom she had given strict instruction to Don to NOT use in any part of their planning) had indicated that the switch had been done there were a million other things that could have gone wrong. Maybe someone noticed the extra-wide shape of the hearse and the extended thickness of the floor and decided to investigate. Maybe the mechanism in the floor that held the body of her son malfunctioned and they were having trouble getting him out. Maybe the private plane she had chartered to fly her son’s body out to Hawaii had met with disaster. Even if all of these things had happened she could fix them. It sure as hell would not be easy, but it could be done. Besides, what were the odds that so much or everything would go wrong?
    But with each step back to the airport terminal where she had left Don she wished she would have at least tried to look in the body bag before leaving Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology. She would have felt much better at least seeing to that part for herself. If it was up to her, hell, she would do everything that needed to be done all by herself. Why? Because she trusted no one more that she trusted herself.
    It didn’t take a rocket scientist to read Don’s body language and tell something was very wrong. He was resting his head on the window, hands stuffed in his pockets and shoulders sagging forward. His posture gave Regina the impression that he was desperately trying to disappear, or at least make himself smaller so that he would be more difficult for her to spot. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had known that this was going to happen. She knew that somewhere along the line Don would stray from her path of instruction and end up fucking things over royally. This had happened every single time she had needed to come to the aid of her son in such an over-the-top, dramatic fashion.
    “Don?” Regina called to him. She watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard. She felt the anger within her building up in her heart and filling it, metamorphosing into rage. That rage increased exponentially with each breath she took in, sharply slicing away at the self-control she used to tame her temper. She felt her control slipping, the white-hot embers of her wrath beginning to spill over and course through her veins to every part of her body. She would kill him for sure. Not here in the airport, but she would definitely kill him. And just to show him how true to her word she was she would make his death long and suffering and terrible.
    And make no mistake about it he would deserve every bit of it.
    “Don?” Regina called out to him again. “ Don?” She thought for a moment he was doing something he had never done before. Ignoring her. “Don!” She absentmindedly clenched her fists. “I am talking to YOU, Don! Turn around!”
    He didn’t want to turn around, but he did. She saw that his eyes were wide with fear and tendrils of approval shot through her body. Now standing only a few feet from him she saw the sweat that beaded on his forehead and she knew that whatever news he had for her it was going to be the worst. Far worse than she would have ever expected.
    “R-Regina,” he stammered, “there’s, ah, there’s been some unfortunate developments.” He swallowed and his throat clicked dryly.
    “Has there been?”
    “Yes. The, uhm…our son-”
    “MY son,” Regina corrected Don.
    “Yes. Your son. He…uhm…” Don began to fiddle with the change in his pockets. Regina’s hands twitched, begging to fly to Don’s throat, to interlock their fingers, and then to shake whatever information this happy asshole was trying to say out of his mouth.
    “You know, Don, it would be better for you to just get out whatever it is you are having trouble with. You already know I am pissed. At the very least that should be obvious. So, why not save us both the added trouble and come out with it?”
    “He’s not on the plane to Hawaii.”
    “Uhm-hum. So, where is he?” She took a step forward directly into Don’s personal space. He tried to take a step back and met with the wall.
    “He’s not here at the airport,” Don almost whispered.
    “Then WHERE is he, Don? Or maybe you would rather play twenty questions?” Regina’s voice had started to rise. Her lips pulled back from her teeth in a snarl as she spoke, “Is he still in the hearse?”
    “No,” Don answered in a very small voice.
    “Did the hearse driver go back to Kelsey? Is his body still there?”
    “No,” Don answered, and Regina could smell the sour acid that was bubbling in his stomach on his breath.
    “Then WHERE is he?”
    “At Ecclesiastical Forensics Pathology.”
    Christ. This was very bad news indeed.
    “Is that so?” Regina’s expression darkened. “And why, pray tell, is my son still there?” Don saw that Regina’s expression was not the only thing that had darkened. He could no longer see the pupils in her aqua blue eyes. Neither could he see the aqua blue of the iris.
    Regina’s eyes were completely and totally black.
    Don felt his bladder spasm, and if it hadn’t been for the fact he had emptied his bladder twenty minutes ago in the men’s room of the terminal he would have urinated on himself.
    “They are doing…an autopsy…on him. As we speak the doctors are examining his body-” Don’s words were cut short. Regina’s hand had moved with a swiftness that ninjas only dreamt about, leaving a perfect, red hand mark that covered the majority of the right side of his face. Don cried out in pain and terror, pissing off Regina even more who promptly brought her other hand across the other side of Don’s face.
    “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Regina screamed into his face, and just like that her conscious mind locked onto what was wrong about loading her son onto the hearse over at Kelsey Memorial.
    There were no camera crews filming the event.
    Not her special camera crew or anyone else’s. At least none that she could see, at any rate.
    “You STUPID mother fucker!” she exclaimed through clenched teeth. The cords in her neck stood out ferociously and her face burned crimson. “You forgot to call the mother FUCKING camera crew? What the fuckey-DOO am I gonna tell everyone now, you goddamn imbecile?!”
    Don instinctively looked around the terminal for help, but save for the mother and two children who were scurrying away from that particular airport terminal and down the hallway to, well, to someplace else, there was no one.
    “Regina! Please!” Don begged as he brought his hands up to protect his face. “I didn’t know! I didn’t know!”
    “Didn’t know what? Huh? How to follow fucking simple instructions?” Regina roared, violently grabbing him by the lapels and jerking his face so close to her own that their noses almost touched.
    “Mordecai! Mordecai! He didn’t mean to send the text saying it was done to me! He made a mistake! A mistake! He was sending the text to-” Don broke off mid sentence as he felt himself lifted and thrown like a child’s rag doll over three rows of chairs. His body turned and twisted in the air, and when he came down he landed awkwardly on the side of his head, his neck twisting, shoulder crunching, and back painfully scraping the metal armrest of one of the chairs.
    “YOU!” Regina screamed like a banshee in pain, moving with the eerie swiftness of an owl’s shadow in the light of a midnight moon.
    “No! Regina, please!” Don begged as he righted himself and tried to stand up. “Mordecai didn’t even make it into the hearse! H-he was h-high on m-meth-” Don screamed as Regina half crouched and grabbed his testicles in one hand and his neck in the other. She threw him again, this time her uncontrolled anger propelling him even further. He hit the top of the airline check-in desk and skittered across the top sending papers flying every which way. His momentum carried him off of the desk and he promptly landed in a large clay flowerpot that broke.
    Don rolled to his side amidst the dark, peaty dirt and broken pieces of pottery. He knew Regina was coming for him. He could feel her coming for him, her black agate eyes shining with hate and the fingers of both her hands pulled into talons that were more than ready and willing to quite literally reduce him to a pile of ribbons.
    He lost his balance as he tried to stand up and thrust his hands out to catch himself. His hands came down on the razor sharp pieces of broken pottery and he cried out in pain and fear. He had hit his temple quite hard when he landed on the desk and his ears were ringing so he sensed more that heard Regina moving behind him. He swayed as he stood up and turned to face her, his bleeding palms held out in surrender.
    “Plea-” Don had intended to tell Regina that he was pretty sure that the only people who had seen the real body of Christianity Stoops were the two doctors performing the autopsy. Well, the two doctors and maybe their assistants who probably didn’t do much more than measure, weigh, and take pictures of the body, however that went. He didn’t get very far with what he wanted to say when an explosion of stars speckled his vision.
    Regina had spun smartly around on the ball of one foot and connected one of her fists with Don’s jaw. Three of Don’s molars broke off where the crowns met the gum-line and he fell back, arms pin wheeling and legs collapsing. Feeling a sharp pain in his throat he numbly realized in a far away thought that he had swallowed a tooth. He fell hard on the floor and a random thought flitted across his mind: My foot feels different. He had lost one of his shoes.
    Then Regina was upon him like a great and terrible monster released from a pit, wrapping her hands around his throat and squeezing with hellish force. She kicked one leg back mimicking a donkey kick and then brought her knee straight into his crotch with deadly aim. The world started to swim away from Don in a wave of white-hot sparks that occurred in a realm of pain he never knew existed, much less ever experienced.
    Right before he passed out he realized he had indeed peed his pants after all.

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