Biblical Myth Table of Elements!!

Yes, There is a Biblical Myths Table of Elements

Presented by Ester Lighthorse

Here are a few examples of what these elements look like. To view more please go to the link provided:

https://sites.google.com/site/murphyslifeelements/add-a-gallery

To view more go to this link:

https://sites.google.com/site/murphyslifeelements/add-a-gallery 

http://familytreeofthedivine.blogspot.com/

The Twenty-Second Book of The Tenement Gospel (the REAL Holy Bible New Testament)

The Tenement Gospel

(the REAL version of the original translation of the Holy Bible New Testament)

The Book of II Pete
(the twenty-second book of The Tenement Gospel)

Chapter 1

    1 Pete Simon, a slave and pushover to those preachin’ disaster, a bipolar mutha who be thinkin’ that apostate and apostle be meanin’ the shame shit,
    2 Escapee of the Righteousness Asylum for the Spiritually Insane, and half brother to the self-proclaimed Lamb of God David Koresh,
    3 This be the letter that be written by me, Pete Simon’s brotha, Simon Pete.
    4 May all the blessin’ that be comin’ from the expansive God of the Tenement Gospel be with all ya’ll. And before I be forgettin’, I wanna be apologizin’ to the people my idiot brotha Pete Simon been harassin’ with his crazy version of God and salvation.
    5 Please try to be understandin’ that Pete Simon be zealously insane and really don’t be knowin’ any better, you dig? So, if he be tryin’ to start botherin’ youz again simply ignore his judgmental and remedial ass.
    6 Movin’ on, I am goin’ to be telling’ ya’ll about the power that be in us all, you dig? See, God and all that is God and for God and to God and in God be very powerful.
    7 And if you be takin’ the knowledge of what this power be you will be havin’ the reigns of yo life firmly in ya’lls hand, for good.
    8 Now the Gospel of Disaster be makin’ grand promises to people, sayin’ that if people be believin’ the Gospel of Disaster they can be avoidin’ corruption and severe judgment from God.
    9 This be why I be tellin’ ya’ll that it be important that ya’ll don’t be misled by a delusional doctrine of disaster that people be tryin’ to pass off as truth and salvation.
    10 For the faith of the Gospel of Disaster be tryin’ to convince anyone who be willin’ to hear that theys should be ignorin’ that which be holy and already existin’ within them.
    11 And this same Gospel of Disaster be promisin’ many riches and pleasures in eternity right along side of Jesus if youz only cast all ya’lls other beliefs out the friggin’ window and start followin’ they brand of spiritual suicide.
    12 Now those who be believin’ in the Gospel of Disaster be sayin’ that theys always gots to be remindin’ theyselfs of their gospel, they salvation, and they sufferin’.
    13 But they who be followin’ the Tenement Gospel don’t ever be needed to be reminded ‘cause once the Tenement Gospel be revealed to a brotha they ain’t be no goin’ back.
    14 And while the Gospel of Disaster be sayin’ that the Tenement Gospel be nothin’ more than a myth that be placin’ false powers an’ salvations in people, that don’t be makin’ it true.
    15 The Gospel of Disaster be claimin’ that they be given prophecies and that those prophecies be sayin’ that they brand of condemnin’ faith be the correct and only truth.
    16 That the sit-gee-ations that be happnin’ in the world around them may be fittin’ they prophecies, they be takin’ these sit-gee-ations and stretchin’ the fuck outta’ them ‘till they be fittin’ they prophecies and not one shred of truth be remainin’.
    17 And the prisoners of the Gospel of Disaster drown in they own fear as they be tryin’ to prepare for some big ass cataclysm that they be hopin’ to avoid by believing’ the way that they be doin’.
    18 They be ignorin’ the fact that they prophecies be comin’ from the devious minds of men who be claimin’ that they be gettin’ the info from God or be gettin’ the info from religious texts.
    19 But ya’ll be knowin’ that the excellence of God that be in this universe and in every person don’t be goin’ around’ makin’ crazy, hopeless, pointless, despondent prophecies.
    20 That be the truth, my brotha. Foh-shizzle.

The Twentieth Book of The Tenement Gospel (the REAL Holy Bible)

 The Tenement Gospel

 (the REAL version of the original translation of the Holy Bible New Testament)

The Book of Jaime
(the twentieth book of The Tenement Gospel)

Chapter 1

    1 Salaam, my dizzle! I be brotha Jaime, foh-shizzle! I was once a slave, but now I be a freed mutha since I be lettin’ go of the Gospel of Disaster.
    2 Gather ‘round! Gather ‘round, my brothas! I gots some serious shit to be tellin’ y’all. So, ya’ll be good mutha fuckas an’ listen to what a brotha has to say, ‘aight?
    3 Now ya’ll can take my word for it that every day is a good day.
    4 ‘Course it be the undeniable truth that some of the sit-gee-ations of the day can be shitty and even downright fucked up.
    5 Just do yo self a favor an’ remember that jacked-up sit-gee-ations cain’t never take away from the goodness of the day, ‘aight?
    6 If something’ bad an’ shitty be fuckin’ wit your day, do everythin’ you can to find somethin’ positive, somethin’ joyful that you can take wit you.
    7 Ya’ll be grateful for yo mistakes and fuck-ups, ‘cause if there be anythin’ you can take from such things it be the fact that at least you now know what not to do in future sit-gee-ations.
    8 See, homey, ya’ll be helpin’ yo self if you be rememberin’ that your faith that ya’ll will be gettin’ things right at some point or other actually builds endurance, ‘aight?
    9 You gots to remember, my brothas, that yo endurance created on one day will be helpin’ you gets through the craziness of the next day, you dig?
    10 Ya’ll be rememberin’ this an’ youz will never experience a life short of or devoid of perseverance.
    11 And if you ever be feelin’ that you is a stupid mutha fucka and don’t know shit from shinola, that be alright,
    12 ‘Cause all youz really need to do, homey, is keep an open mind an’ a non-judgmental heart, and the wisdom you be needin’ to live a happy and kick-ass life will always be surroundin’ you, be available to you, and be made known to you,
    13 For the understandin’ of God, of what God be, of what God is, of what God does, and of what you are in relation to God will always be yours to do with as you be willin’ to do.
    14 And ya’ll best be rememberin’ that sometimes you will be havin’ a shitty day an’ cain’t seem to be feelin’ the faith or rememberin’ the Tenement Gospel; this be okay, my brotha, ‘cause you be human. What the fuck else do you expect?
    15 Blessed is the brothas that be rememberin’ the gifts of trial an’ error ‘cause they be the ones to wear the crown of a life that be livin’ to love, and lovin’ to live.
    16 And when you be tempted to do some stupid shit that you be knowin’ is wrong, and you be doin’ it anyways, don’t be tryin’ to sell yo self on the idea that your fuck-up is God simply testin’ you. That shit be makin’ no goddamn sense whatsoever.
    17 God don’t be testin’ people like they was in some high school class takin’ a pop-quiz or some other crazy shit.
    18 People be fuckin’ they own lives up when they be givin’ in to the temptations of they own ridiculous lusts.
    19 And this lust that be foolin’ these mutha fuckas be born out of partaking in pleasures without any real joy or love, ‘aight?
    20 All things and gifts that be good in this life and in this universe be from God and love and the understandin’ that God be love, and love be God.
    21 And God be givin’ men the choice to be understandin’ the love that be everywhere in this universe.
    22 And God be givin’ men the choice to be understandin’ the infinite expressions of what be the truth.
    23 Lots of homeys out there be knowin’ this, but there also be just as many mutha fuckas out there who cain’t hear for shit, who cain’t see for shit, who cain’t understand for shit, and who cain’t understand right from wrong any more than they be understandin’ that there really be no difference ‘tween night and day.
    24 So, ya’ll out there who be fightin’ over who has a better bead on what is the truth, and all ya’ll who take great and dark pleasure in seedin’ and seein’ malice and discontent ‘tween the nations of men do yo self an’ everybody else a favor and shut the fuck up.
    25 And if someone be spoutin’ off at the mouth about doin’ things to make the world a better place, they best be doin’ what they be talkin’ about lest they be guilty of bein’ ignorant, stupid, hypocritical mutha fuckas.
    26 For blessed be those men who have the understandin’ that perfection is not doin’ somethin’ without mistake, but rather is the understandin’ and knowledge of endless possibilities.
    27 Such is the pure, straight-up, unified religion of God and the Tenement Gospel.

Chapter 2

    1 My brothas, it be very important that youz be understandin’ of the voracious appetite of the Gospel of Disaster, the fear it be creatin’, and the path of destruction it always leaves in its wake.
    2 For those who be preachin’ the Gospel of Disaster don’t give a shit who they be hurtin’ with their depressing and despondent rhetoric.
    3 And the priests of the Gospel of Disaster say to their homeys, See these mutha fuckas who be comin’ in our direction, into our church?
    4 We shouldn’t be lettin’ these fools into our holy place. Neither shall we be givin’ them food to be eatin’ or clothing to be wearin’ or shelter to be coverin’ they heads when they be sleepin’ unless they relent and believe as we be believin’;
    5 And lo! Say the men who be preachin’ the Gospel of Disaster, See these homeys who be dressin’ different, prayin’ different, lovin’ different, livin’ different, and belivin’ different?
    6 We ain’t gonna be payin’ them no mind, and we ain’t gonna be lisnin’ to their deluded faiths and interpretations of truth and God,
    7 For our God be better than their God.
    8 And those who be jawin’ on about the Gospel of Disaster travel great lengths and be takin’ great measures to create and point out every belief that be different from they own,
    9 These men be drawin’ numerous and unmistakable separation lines ‘tween theyselves an’ those who be believin’ different, ‘cause it be makin’ them feel better ‘bout the life of fear that they be leadin’ and the Gospel of Disaster they be preachin’.
    10 And they be sayin’ to theyselves, We be the truly blessed and the truly holy ‘cause we be havin’ these differences and be doin’ these things.
    11 And these mutha fuckas be dishonorin’ the absolutes of the universe when they be sayin’ and tellin’ other men to love they neighbor as theyselfs, and yet these mo’ fos do not do as they be sayin’.
    12 Those who be preachin’ the Gospel of Disaster say all those who be believin’ different be creatin’ sin.
    13 But I be sayin’ to you, homey, that those who be tryin’ to draw lines of separation ‘tween different faiths and different interpretations of God are the ones who be the sinners.
    14 These fools be sayin’ that all men should be forsakin’ all other faiths and beliefs and understandin’ of God that they might be findin’ true mercy by avoidin’ judgment.
    15 But I be sayin’ to you, homey, that true mercy can only be experienced by those who be possessin’ judgment that be acceptin’ of the truth and reality of all faiths.
    16 And you can be takin’ my word for it, my brothas, that the spite and the hate and the seeds of separation that be carried by the Gospel of Disaster offer not one shred or iota of gain in any sense of the word.
    17 For any gospel that be sayin’, Do as I be sayin’ and not as I be doin’, be a lifeless an’ dead faith.
    18 And the muthas that be believin’ in no faith other than they own and no God other than they own be shudderin’ and shakin’ at the thought that there might be more truth and more faiths and more interpretations of God than the one they be peddlin’.
    19 And these ding-dongs, vain mutha fuckas that they be, cain’t see that the works of their stingy and hurtful faith be fuckin’ pointless.
    20 And did not Abraham be puttin’ the Gospel of Disaster in its place when he be asked to sacrifice and cut up his own spawn on an altar?
    21 And Abraham be respondin’, What the fuck kind of fucked up faith asks for blood to be shed in order to be avoidin’ pain and sufferin’ and providin’ proof of a brothas faith?
    22 And it be that the scriptures be true that said, And Abraham be refusin’ to murder his spawn for he be sayin’ that men be justified by an open heart and an open mind, and not by the fucked up rantings of a murderin’, hurtful faith.
    23 An’ just like Abraham, the ho Rahab told the messengers to shut the fuck up, and that she would not be actin’ a fool by doin’ the biddin’ of the Gospel of Disaster.
    24 For a faith that be askin’ its believers to be hurtin’, killin’, murderin’, enslaving’, an’ stealin’ be a dead faith.


For more divine humor: https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/

The Fourteenth Book of The Tenement Gospel (the REAL Holy Bible)

 The Tenement Gospel

 (the REAL version of the original translation of the Holy Bible)

The Book of II ‘Lonians
(the fourteenth book of The Tenement Gospel)

Chapter 1

    1 Well, how do it be for ya’ll, my brothas? I hope everything be well wit choo all and that the love that be fillin’ this universe be blessin’ youz.
    2 This here be Pablo an’ Cisco again, and this time what we goin’ to be doin’ is discussin’ specific behaviors of religious groups and specific instruction from the same that be clear indicators of that faith bein’ a cult.
    3 Ya’ll be payin’ attentions to what we be discussin’ so ya’ll don’t be endin’ up like the millions of mindless sheep out there already, you dig?
    4 First we will be discussin’ what we likes to be referrin’ to as the Special Knowledge Factor. The Special Knowledge Factor is a trait done experienced by any religious group that be claimin’ to have special knowledge of  Christ’s Second Comin’ to this planet.
    5 This be includin’ specific predictions of dates when the supposed Second Coming will happen. It would be behoovin’ ya’ll to be lookin’ up these crazy claims on the Internet just to be givin’ youz a little perspective of how often this be happnin’.
    6 For the groups that do be makin’ such predictions they don’t just be doin’ so randomly. There be a purpose to such actions and it be to maintain as much control of peoples that be followin’ them by usin’ fear.
    7 If a faith or religious practice be worthy of ya’lls time you will be findin’ that it don’t be preachin’ no negative messages whatsoever, you dig? True faith never be preachin’ fear.
    8 Part of what be the problem with crazy religious groups done settin’ specific dates of the Second Coming is that it do be encouragin’ seriously off-beat and erratic behavior.
    9 Not to mention, when the predictions don’t be comin’ true people be lookin’ like the silly assholes they are. On occasion the predictions can be endin’ in deadly fashion with group members killin’ theyselfs in anticipation of the Rapture.
    10 A long ass time ago in a California city, a non-denominational Christian group be spoutin’ off at the mouth not only about predictin’ the Second Coming, but goin’ so far as to say they would be convincin’ Jesus to be comin’ back sooner.
    11 How that be for bein’ cocky? Now, how this group said they would be doin’ this was by proselytizin’ in as many cities around the world as possible. They went so far as pickin’ members of they congregation an’ then tellin’ them which city to move to in order to be settin’ up another branch of that group.
    12 This group done also went so further by creatin’ Christian youth boot camps where these teenage kids would be completely brainwashed and indoctrinated, and then told to go out into The World and preach the Gospel of Disaster.
    13 These teenage kids were told what to be studyin’ in college and once they be havin’ they degrees they was expected to be donatin’ three full years followin’ they college graduation to be preachin’ the Gospel of Disaster fulltime.
    14 Now, this church group be makin’ these kids feel so special and privileged that most of them, at least in the beginnin’, tried to do exactly as they were told.
    15 The church group even coined a catchy name for the groups of misled teens who would be doin’ this brick-a-brack : Fiery Future Full-Timers. Their assigned goal was to be convincin’ Jesus Christ to be returnin’ by 1993c.e.
    16 When this date be comin’ and then passin’ without any deity by the name of Jesus returnin’ triumphantly in mega clouds in the sky, a new return date of 1996c.e. was issued.
    17 Of course, the new date didn’t be pannin’ out either. Shee-it.
    18 Now, here be the paradox of those Christian groups that be claimin’ dates of Christ’s return, ’aight?
    19 In they own scriptures of the Gospel of Disaster that they be preachin’ it do clearly say that no man be knowin’ the time or the day of Jesus’ return. If that be the case, why the hell these muthas done keep tryin’ to predict the Second Comin’?
    20 Don’t they be seein’ how goddamn stupid this be makin’ them look? Not to mention it be makin’ them hypocrites since on the one hand they be sayin’ nobody be knowin’ when Jesus be back, then on the other hand they make a date for his return.
    21 Not exactly balanced an’ even thinkin’, is it?
    22 The fear that these predicted dates can be instillin’ in some people can be very damagin’ psychologically, so damaging in fact that some people won’t even be havin’ children and raisin’ a family since they believe there ain’t enough time to be doin’ that.

Chapter 2

    1 Next we will be discussin’ the tendency of many church groups to claim that they be havin’ the only proper information on how to be worshippin’ Jesus and what a believer must be doin’ and not doin’ in order to avoid eternity in hell.
    2 It be in this area that people be caught up in the ridiculously stupid argument of My-God-is-Better-Than-Your-God.
    3 Any group that be doin’ anything similar to this ain’t be worth the time in your day, you dig?
    4 Let us take the cult group we be talkin’ about in the previous chapter, ‘aight?
    5 What this group be doin’ is interpretin’ they scriptures in the manner that best suits the sit-gee-ation that they be in, ‘aight? They be masters of semantics, foh-shizzle.
    6 In they interpreted scriptures they be havin’ somethin’ that be called Calling on the Name of the Lord. What this be meanin’ is members of the church literally be callin’ out loud, Lord Jesus! Over and over and over and over and over and over. Truth be told, there ain’t be no problem with them doin’ this. It be their belief. No problem, ‘aight?
    7 Sometimes they be shoutin’ it. Sometimes they be whisperin’ it. When they be gettin’ a whole bunch of they members together and they be doin’ this it creates within’ they group a highly charged atmosphere, somethin’ very similar to mass hypnosis.
    8 The problem be startin’ when this group be pickin’ on other groups for not prayin’ this way. It be the truth that many groups do not practice this Calling on the Name of the Lord, and for the ones that don’t they be bein’ considered to be false faiths since they supposedly don’t be following’ the words of God to call on the Lord.
    9 Of course, it never be crossin’ the minds of the cult group that just because it be their interpretation of the verse to actually and literally call out the name of the Lord, that don’t be makin’ them right.
    10 But that don’t be matterin’ to them ‘cause they be consumed by they insistent desire to be the group with the only truth.
    11 Movin’ on about this group, they have taken all the verses in they bible that be sayin’ that idolatry be abominable and be applyin’ it these verses to every symbol of the Christian faith.
    12 Statues of holy figures or biblical characters or even crosses are simply not allowed in this church as such things are considered to be pagan and heathen. Even wearin’ necklaces with crosses ain’t be bein’ allowed.
    13 To this particular cult group, anyone who be possessin’ statues and crosses an’ shit be guilty of worshippin’ idols instead of Jesus and God.
    14 Here you can once again be seein’ they ridiculous desire to be right while everyone else done be wrong. Delusional, isn’t it?
    15 This silly cult group be so damn desperate in its search for finding shit wrong with the ways other groups be worshippin’. Allow me to be listin’ some of the things they say be wrong with the way other faiths worship God an’ Jesus:
    16 Baptism of babies ain’t workin’ ‘cause they be too little to be understandin’ what be goin’ on. Baptism only be countin’ when that person be older and fully submerged under water, you dig?
    17 The Lord’s Supper on Sundays, also known by some as Communion, cannot be taken by folks who ain’t been baptized or who ain’t be receivin’ Jesus in they hearts just like this group be sayin’ they ought to.
    18 If people don’t be tryin’ to proselytize to everyone within’ reachin’ distance by tryin’ to cram they version of salvation down the throats of others then they ain’t really Christians who be worshippin’ Jesus right.
    19 If people be speakin’ about anything other than what be in they bible then they ain’t be worshippin’ Jesus correctly and they ain’t gonna be looked upon with favor by Jesus.
    20 Accordin’ to this cult group it don’t be matterin’ whether or not you be somebody good like Mother Teresa, ‘cause if you don’t be worshippin’ like they do then yo’ ass still be grass.


To acquire the full version of The Tenement Gospel: https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/customization

Fantasy in the Bible: Exodus

The book of Exodus in the Holy Bible chronicles the suffering of the Children of Israel at the hands of Pharaoh, who eventually did let the Children of Israel go. Of course, maybe the Pharaoh would have let the Children of Israel go a whole hell of a lot sooner if God had not hardened his (Pharaoh's) heart so many dag-gone times: Exodus 4:21; Exodus 7:14, 22; Exodus 8:15, 19, 32; Exodus 9:7, 12, 34; Exodus 10:1, 20, 27; Exodus 11:10. That is a lot, isn't it? So, did God really want to let His people go or did He just want to dish out some divine justice onto Pharaoh...again and again and again by purposely making Pharaoh's heart hard? If you need a copy of the book of Exodus: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+1&version=NIV  and: http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/ancient/exodus-rsv.asp  and: http://www.readbookonline.net/read/989/11148/

And of course there are all the plagues brought upon the Egyptians by God, to include the worst plague of killing all the firstborn in the land of Egypt: Exodus 12:29.

It is the ultimate story of deliverance...or is it? There is interesting historical evidence that definitively points to the solid mythology of the Exodus story and lends absolutely ZERO TRUTH to the story of Moses leading the Children of Israel out from the bondage of the Egyptians. Please go to these links: http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4191  and: http://www.jesusneverexisted.com/egypt.htm  and: http://www.jweekly.com/article/full/41055/egypt-unveils-more-proof-that-jews-did-not-build-pyramids/  and: http://www.skeptically.org/oldtestament/id5.html

There is no truth in the story of Exodus. Just like its predecessor, Genesis, Exodus is a fairytale.

For more information: https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/deluge-of-disparity-and-debauchery-in-christian-faiths