Thursday, August 25, 2011

Fantasy in the Bible: Genesis

The Holy Bible is perhaps one the grandest entertainment stories ever truth. Never mind that inconsistencies and absurdities abound in every book of the Holy Bible, MUST be the truth, right?

In the book of Genesis there is the wonderful story of Creation. God says it...and 'it' is so. And so many people who are Christian are against the Big Bang favor of their very own version of such a theory, right? Because the Big Bang theory does NOT make any sense? How can that be? The Big Bang theory says about 15 billion years ago there was this massive explosion and all the beginning particles of the universe spread out everywhere...well, just go to this site to read up on it: Anyways, according to the Big Bang theory there was still time involved in the formation of galaxies and planets and all that fun stuff. In Genesis, in the Holy Bible, it says that God said it and it was so. Instant. No need to add anything, no need to allow time to adjust for the formation of anything, no need to shake and stir. God said it, so it was.

Hum. Big Bang theory takes time. Hum. God says POOF! And so it is.

Christians really think their story makes more sense? And don't forget all the plants and animals that God not only POOFED! into existence, but that Adam managed to name. Quite the imaginative guy there, that Adam. Evolution says these things (the plants and animals) took time to develop. Really, check out Evolution here:

Hum. Time to develop. Hum. God says POOF! And so it is.

Christians really think their story makes more sense? And don't forget about all of the people of the world who were supposedly all created from two single individuals: Adam and Eve. That is an awful lot of incest. Say, do you think that all Christians are aware of the genetic issues involved with incest? No? Okay. Here is a link that may help:  Wait. I heard that some people do not trust Wikipedia. Okay. Here is another link:  And how about one more link:  Oh, hell! Here is another one just in case you don't like that one either:

We won't discuss the silliness of Noah's Flood, but if you so desire here are some websites on the MANY flood stories (myths):  and:  and:

So, shall we now go to the part where God promises the land that OTHER people live on to His so-called "chosen" people? Genesis 17:8 "And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Ca'naan, for an everlasting possession: and I will be their God." Genesis 15:7, Genesis 26:3, Genesis 28:4, and Genesis 48:3-4 are only a few of the other verses in Genesis that mention this giving God who gives the land already inhabited by one people to another people of his special choosing. What do you know? It is a Biblical version of...MANIFEST DESTINY!

Hum. (Singing) "This land was their land...but now its your land...from the great Euphrates...through the lands of Ca'naan...and I will bless you...and I will hate them...this land was given to you after taken by Me!" Yaaay, God!!

Ah! But if GOD says it...and the Holy Bible says it...that makes it okay...right?

Oh, but Lucy! Doesn't it get even juicier? There are some crazy-ass stories in Genesis, matey. Let me mention just a few of them:

1) So, God (Who by the way is SUPPOSED to be all-knowing) decides to tempt Abraham by telling him to sacrifice his son Issac, Genesis 22:1-13. In Genesis 22:12 God supposedly says, "Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me." Didn't God know this before hand? If He is all-knowing He would have already known Abraham's heart, right? So, why in the freaky-doo do such a damn crappy thing as ask someone to sacrifice their son...just to see if they will?

2) After the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot and his daughters are living in a cave in the mountains, Genesis 19:30. Anyways, Lot's daughters are worried that they will not be able to find a man to procreate with, Genesis 19:31. So, what do they do? They conspire to get their father drunk so that they might have sex with him so that they can "preserve the seed" of their father, Genesis 19:32-36. Both women become pregnant by their father. Eeewww! So, their father, Lot, is the father, the grandfather, the brother-in-law, and the uncle...all at once. So damn disgusting.

3) In Genesis 30:14-17, Rachel (one of the wives of Jacob) trades the husbandly services (sex) of Jacob to Leah (another wife of Jacob who also happens to be Rachel's sister) for some mandrakes. Incidentally, Leah becomes pregnant with another of Jacob's sons.

4) In Genesis 32:24-31 Jacob wrestles with a 'man' who turns out to be some kind of angel, or something. Apparently, Jacob thinks he has seen God face to face...and survived, Genesis 32:30.

There are some very interesting (and in some cases disgusting) stories in the book of Genesis. Check it out! It makes zero sense to take any of it as truth. In case you don't have a Holy Bible here are some links for the book of Genesis:  and:  and:

And these are just tidbits from the book of Genesis. Don't worry. Exodus is soon to come.

For more information on the ridiculousness of Christianity/Religion:

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