Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Nineteenth Book of The Tenement Gospel (the REAL Holy Bible)

The Tenement Gospel
(the REAL version of the original translation of the Holy Bible New Testament)

The Book of Brewdude
(the nineteenth book of The Tenement Gospel)

Chapter 1

    1 In all that be the universe, in what be all faiths, it be the truth that everything that be makin’ up what God be and that be chatted on by Mac Daddy of old through them who be the true prophets,
    2 They who be the true prophets of all faiths,
    3 It be these who be sayin’ everythin’ that be comprisin’ what God be for sho’ do be speakin’ to all them brothas who be havin’ the wisdom to open they hearts and minds,
    4 To the love that is for all and that be in all.
    5 And it be true that if one be allowin’ the full expression of what be the true mercy of all that be God to be interpretin’ the vision of they hearts,
    6 They minds will be encompassin’ all and shall be seein’ forever.
    7 An’ if that be happnin’ the heart an’ the soul of a man be becomin’ better than what it be when all he be havin’ was solely the interpretation of men.
    8 For it be that if men only be havin’ that which they be tellin’ theyselfs,
    9 And if men only be havin’ that which they have been known to be witholdin’ from one another in what be an effort to control that which they believe to exist,
    10 Then it be all the more difficult for them to be understandin’ they birth in this universe and they relationship to the understandin’ of all that be comprisin’ everythin’ that God be.
    11 An’ it be that angels be sayin’ to the men, Do you be seein’ that you be bein’ made as we of what be the same earth and wind and fire and water?
    12 An’ do you be seein’ that what be the throne of all that be God be everywhere an’ has been everywhere since before the plans were even be drawin’,
    13 Before the foundations for each day even be laid,
    14 Before the days began to stretch into what be eternity,
    15 Before eternity be beginnin’ to loop into all that be now.

Chapter 2

    1 Now ya’ll best be rememberin’ that it be important to be lisnin’ to all the messages that be fillin’ the day,
    2 And when you lay down at night and be realizin’ that you be missin’ a message or misinterpretin’ a message or skipped a message do not be afraid.
    3 For the angels have formerly been known to be sayin’, There is no transgression. Simply live yesterday for today, and tomorrow for each day.
    4 And always be rememberin’ that all be right now, ‘aight? And all that be now is and shall ever be.
    5 If ya’ll want to be escapin’ the neglect of what be yo salvations ya’lls gots to be realizin’ that salvations have always been around and they are for all, in all and through all.
    6 Know that there ain’t be one individual who be superior or inferior to another when it be comin’ to who be given salvations,
    7 But youz gots to be knowin’ that while salvations share neither superiority nor inferiority when it be comin’ to who they be for,
    8 It be the truth, foh-shizzle, that the character of one man or woman may be varyin’ in strength an’ viability when it be held up to the ingredients of another’s own character.
    9 For though it be true that salvations are for all,
    10 There are still those brothas who shall abuse their gift of freewill,
    11 Refusing’ to be makin’ decisions that be reflective of their innate understandin’ of love and the knowledge that everybody be havin’ love inside them since the beginnin’ of all things.
    12 Whether or not a brotha be wantin’ it to be, the fact be remainin’ that all things be bein’ in and of God and for and to God,
    13 And though it be the truth that men who be makin’ crappy-assed decisions are exactly as the poor be and always with all us muthas,
    14 This don’t be fudgin’ up the truth of the Tenement Gospel and all salvations bein’ for everyone,
    15 An’ it be bein’ because of this truth that ya’ll don’t be needin’ to label these muthas as fallen since it is quite true, foh-shizzle it is, that all men shall find their way to God and all that be comprisin’ of what God is.
    16 For there is not one man or woman anywhere who be saved by any kind of sufferin’ since sufferin’ in the first place is what be the clear indicator that what a brotha be doin’ or thinkin’ be contrary to what be a clear, strong, healthy and wide path.
    17 And though some o’ ya’ll be sayin’ that sufferin’ be the best and only way a slave of the Gospel of Disaster be savin’ enough kudos for heaven,
    18 These non-sensical ravins’ cain’t be changin’ the truth that there don’t need to be sufferin’.
    19 For soon as a brotha be embracin’ the Tenement Gospel he shall be bein’ free from slavery of any type the very moment he be havin’ the truth held firmly in the clutches of what be his heart.

For the full version of The Tenement Gospel:

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