Friday, September 2, 2011

The Seventh Book of The Tenement Gospel (the REAL Holy Bible)

 The Tenement Gospel
(the REAL version of the original translation of the Holy Bible)
The Book of I ‘Inthians
(the seventh book of The Tenement Gospel)

Chapter 1

    1 Raul, a man who has been labeled as an apostate simply because he be choosin’ to reveal the true message of Jesus, a man who works for the true will of all that be comprising’ that which is God,
    2 Does indeed pen this book of scripture to refute the claims of the Gospel of Disaster and of those who be following’ such spiritual flotsam and jetsam that be presented in the previous scriptural books of Acting Postal and Roaming,
    3 For the very last thing in the universe that anyone be needin’ is yet another seriously twisted and fucked up version of a supposed divinely inspired message that be servin’ to divide rather than to join.
    4 May all that be divine in this great, grand, and glorious universe find its way to you, my brothas and sistas. And may you be blessed with the compassion of love and the wisdom of the most righteous and nurturing truth, as it is true that a man should be livin’ to love, and lovin’ to live.
    5 I can only be eternally grateful that by the grace of all that be God I have seen and experienced what the truth is, foh-shizzle,
    6 For although such a truth lies dormant within each man it cannot enrich him with its blessin’ unless that man be properly cultivatin’ it.
    7 Verily I say unto you that a wise and humble man don’t be misinterpretin’ his understanding of love and of God to mean that he be absolutely correct in his thinking and beliefs,
    8 For the understanding of love and all that be comprisin’ that which is God manifests itself differently within the minds and hearts and spirits of all men accordin’ to the fertility of the soil in which it be planted, and according to the manner and habits in which the individual be cultivatin’ their own heart.
    9 I ask of you all that all ya’ll be patient with those muthas who for some reason or other cannot seem to understand the purpose of faith in relation to the functionality of humanity,
    10 For such men find themselves to be better suited to be fightin’ and bickerin’ over whose version of God and faith be the correct version. I say to you that it is the intolerance of one man’s faith towards another that be the root cause of everything that be wrong with the world.
    11 If anyone wishes to know what faith to follow he should be knowin’ that a faith worth following is one that be bringin’ together and does not push apart and does not highlight every difference in an effort to be drawin’ lines of validity in the sands of faith. Ya’ll be knowin’ that be some crazy shit.
    12 Do not ever allow yourselves to be caught up in the idiocy that be displayed by those men who would look at their own faith and then point to the faith of another, saying,
    13 Our faith be more strict and be older and be wiser and be stronger and can work greater miracles and be more merciful than your own faith. Our faith be better and is therefore the indelible truth.
    14 For it be written that the wickedness of trying to pit one faith against another or the effort some muthas dedicate to persecuting those who wish to be possessin’ no faith can only result in the destruction of the wisdom that would otherwise be harvested.
    15 What be the purpose of one group of faith arguing with another group of faith over things like baptism and when it should be done, the exact time and day of the week of the Sabbath and what you can and cannot be doin’ on that day,
    16 Whether or not people who do not wish to be believin’ in God will suffer eternal torment, or whether or not someone’s version of God does or does not love and accept men who be lovin’ men and women who be lovin’ women?
    17 If such non-issues are allowed to plague establishments of faith and allowed to cover the eyes of a person’s heart with sackcloth then the purpose of having faith in the first damn place be totally lost and be kind of like the saying that refers to something along the lines of missing the forest full of trees.
    18 And then what be happenin’ to the wisdom of love that could have been uncovered and shared? It be once again covered and forgotten until the next person or group of people search for it and find it.
    19 Understand that it ain’t be possible for God to see the wisdom of the world as foolishness, for the truth of the matter be that the blackness of the hearts of men and the wicked deeds that stem from such be takin’ the wisdom of the world and be doin’ foolish things with it.
    20 And it be shameful in the face of the universe and all that be divine that those who would be harbingers of doom and those who preach one faith over another make a goddamn habit of preying on the hearts and minds of people who be weak,
    21 For it be easier to control people who be wishin’ to belong and who be wishin’ to be accepted and who be wishin’ to be loved and who be wishin’ to be taken care of and who be wishin’ to feel special and who be wishin’ to be right.

For the full version of The Tenement Gospel:

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